Snow sucks.

Snow storms are the worst. Seriously if you like snow storms you are an asshole.

Snow storms start off beautiful. You see giant white flakes falling slowly from the sky. It’s so wonderful; look at all the kids catching snow flakes on their tongues.

Then it continues…..It doesn’t stop. It keeps snowing and snowing. You want to leave your house but you can’t. Why can’t you? You can’t because there is a 3 foot drift in front of your car. Oh and you have to shovel your sidewalk. And you better ice your sidewalk so some jackass doesn’t slip and fall on it and tell you to lawyer up.

In conclusion, snow sucks. If you like snow you are an asshole.

Tons of Stuff…

I finally got a laptop and have the internets now so I will hopefully be posting on a semi-regular basis.

 

Just thought I would update you all on that. Now I am off to look at all kinds of sick and twisted porno.

Guide to Being a Bad Fan

There are plenty of guides out there for different things, very few for bad things. Well I decided that the bad fan needs some sort of a guide so they know exactly how bad they are. Here are a few simple rules that every bad fan must follow.

Take off your shirt – You have to. This is a must. And the fatter and more hair you have the better. This usually works best during sell outs when you are sitting shoulder to shoulder with complete strangers.

Be drunk – It’s best to show up drunk and then get completely plastered during the game. Because sports are just that much better when you’re drunk, and so are you.

Ask for the score constantly – Why would you waste your time looking at the scoreboard when other people can do it for you? Besides, you have beer to drink you can’t be bothered with such time consuming tasks.

Wear a jersey – Not just any jersey though. It has to be of a former player who was complete trash or sucked with your team and is now a star for another. I/E wearing a David Ortiz jersey to a Twins game.

Be really drunk – Yeah, I know it’s already on the list, but it needs to be said again. You must be drunk.

Curse really loud – Everything sentence is better with “fuck” or some variation in it. Example “Bad call ump!” or “Bad fucking call ump!” Which one sounds better? Obviously the second one. Also, parents love to have you swearing like a sailor around their kids.

So there you have it. Just a few tips to get you on your way to becoming the worst fan you can be.

Woo Hookers!

I just read on Fox News that this girl is selling her virginity on the internets. I for one am a big fan of this. I don’t have the money to pay for a hooker, but don’t have anything against it. If you want to pay to have sex with someone, that’s your own deal. It’s not like you’re raping them or anything. People are way to hung up on prostitution, seriously folks, unless the girl or guy (I guess) is being forced to do it what is the problem?

Well this chick from the one picture they show is pretty good looking. I doubt she is a virgin. Some dude bid 3.7 million dollars. I don’t care who it is, I wouldn’t pay that much to have sex with her.

Would you pay for sex or have you already?

Global Warming?

I think you might have missed something Al Gore. Seriously. Right now it is 2 degrees above 0, this is the first time in 3 days that it has been above 0. For the past few days it’s been at least – 10. I don’t know if a lot of you have been in around anything that cold so let me break it down for your.

At 0 – Pretty cold, but manageable.

At – 5 – Cold. You don’t really want to go all that far, and the wind cuts through most light clothing like a hot knife through butter.

At – 10 – COLD. Seriously don’t even go out side. And if you do, stay in your warm car.

At – 15 – If you’re out doing anything but going to work you’re an idiot. Seriously, you’re dumb.

At – 20 – Kill youreself. Just do it. Death is way warmer than this.

At – 25 – Things just stop working. Cars barely work, ice just magically appears on the roads. I’m pretty sure this is the 8th sign of the appocolypse.

 

Sorry for the lack of blogs. Been kind of busy playing with myself and all. If you want to know what I’m up to on a daily or even hourly basis follow me on twitter. Or to see me talk and make fun of things in 12 second video clips follow me here.

A Test Post

I just bought a blackberry curve and am testing to see if I can post on here from my phone. If it works expect me to start blogging here again.