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    • Cancer Free, The Way to Be January 17, 2008
      More proof that beer is good for you.  Researchers in Germany say that a cancer-fighting substance found in hops could be enhanced to brew a special anti-cancer beer. I don’t think I’ve read a better story all year. I know the year is young, but the only news that could be better would be “Drinking […]
      Steve
    • Flaming Shot January 10, 2008
      The flaming shot. It’s an amateur move for sure, but it looks cool. The problem is that a lot of people don’t know how to take this shot. They can make it, and light it on fire and that’s where their “smartness” ends. Example 1 This dude is not smart. And the chick that says […]
      Steve
    • Don’t Just Drink it January 8, 2008
      We all love beer right? RIGHT!? Well not only is beer delicious and good for you, but it can be used for all sorts of things that aren’t drinking related. Here is the story. Below I have chosen some of my favorites; CLEAR UP BROWN SPOTS IN YOUR LAWN According to Andrew Lopez, a professional […]
      Steve
    • A Drink a Day Keeps the Doctor Away January 3, 2008
      Health benefits from alcohol? Damn right! According to scientists (not just random drunk people anymore), alcohol in moderation is actually good for you. They say that one alcoholic drink a day will help with all kinds of stuff. Your heart Your pancreas Your Joints Your over all health Sometimes I like to combine 2 weeks […]
      Steve
    • About Bloody Time January 2, 2008
      After a night of hard drinking you will wake up either drunk or hung-over. Being drunk is not the problem, it’s the coming down from being drunk and being hung-over that is the problem. The solution; a Bloody Mary. There are 3 types of morning drinkers. There is the person who drinks a Bloody Mary, a […]
      Steve
    • DWI of the Year January 1, 2008
      Here at Don’t Eat the Worm we don’t condone drinking and driving. It is a dumb and reckless move that can cost not only you your life but an innocent person. (Not saying you’re guilty.) BUT Meagan Harper is now a god in DWI/DUI circles. She was busted in Oregon with a .55 BAC. The […]
      Steve
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Guide to Being a Bad Fan

There are plenty of guides out there for different things, very few for bad things. Well I decided that the bad fan needs some sort of a guide so they know exactly how bad they are. Here are a few simple rules that every bad fan must follow.

Take off your shirt – You have to. This is a must. And the fatter and more hair you have the better. This usually works best during sell outs when you are sitting shoulder to shoulder with complete strangers.

Be drunk – It’s best to show up drunk and then get completely plastered during the game. Because sports are just that much better when you’re drunk, and so are you.

Ask for the score constantly – Why would you waste your time looking at the scoreboard when other people can do it for you? Besides, you have beer to drink you can’t be bothered with such time consuming tasks.

Wear a jersey – Not just any jersey though. It has to be of a former player who was complete trash or sucked with your team and is now a star for another. I/E wearing a David Ortiz jersey to a Twins game.

Be really drunk – Yeah, I know it’s already on the list, but it needs to be said again. You must be drunk.

Curse really loud – Everything sentence is better with “fuck” or some variation in it. Example “Bad call ump!” or “Bad fucking call ump!” Which one sounds better? Obviously the second one. Also, parents love to have you swearing like a sailor around their kids.

So there you have it. Just a few tips to get you on your way to becoming the worst fan you can be.

I’ll Stick With the City, Thanks

After reading this story I remembered why I hate going out and doing things in nature.

I will never find a dead baby while I’m sitting on my couch drinking beer and eating Cheetos out of my bellybutton.

Duck Hunt

This is as close to hunting as I will ever get. Call me lazy, but why would I go out and hunt for things when I can just buy it at the store already? I’m sure there is something cool about hunting other than just killing things, but I really can’t think of it. I can think of negatives though;

  • No chicks. Women don’t hunt, and if they do, not that hot. Why would you want to be stuck around a bunch of dudes for a weekend in the woods? No thanks.
  • It’s never good weather. Going outside for extend periods of time in late fall is dumb.

Hunting

  • You have to dress like an idiot. As the above picture shows, you do in fact have to dress like a complete tool. You have to wear bright orange colors because hunters are so stupid they will shoot you if you aren’t. (Some are so dumb they’ll still shoot you.)
  • Football is on. This is pretty self explanatory.
  • No chicks. Have I mentioned this yet?
  • Being out smarted by an animal. Yes, if you don’t shoot anything you were out witted by a creature with a brain the size of a pea. (or something about that size.)

I think I’ve made my point. Hunting sucks.

Thursday’s Games…

I’ve been pretty lazy the last few days and haven’t felt like posting anything. But since there are 3 games today I need to pick I figured I throw them up here.

Green Bay @ Detroit

NY (Jets) @ Dallas

Indy @ Atlanta

My picks are in bold as always.

Baseball fans – Torii Hunter was signed by the Angels. And they way over paid. I’ve seen him play a lot, and he is definitely not worth 80 million over 5 years. You’re dumb Anaheim.

I should be back to regular postings on Saturday night/Sunday morning.