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    • Cancer Free, The Way to Be January 17, 2008
      More proof that beer is good for you.  Researchers in Germany say that a cancer-fighting substance found in hops could be enhanced to brew a special anti-cancer beer. I don’t think I’ve read a better story all year. I know the year is young, but the only news that could be better would be “Drinking […]
      Steve
    • Flaming Shot January 10, 2008
      The flaming shot. It’s an amateur move for sure, but it looks cool. The problem is that a lot of people don’t know how to take this shot. They can make it, and light it on fire and that’s where their “smartness” ends. Example 1 This dude is not smart. And the chick that says […]
      Steve
    • Don’t Just Drink it January 8, 2008
      We all love beer right? RIGHT!? Well not only is beer delicious and good for you, but it can be used for all sorts of things that aren’t drinking related. Here is the story. Below I have chosen some of my favorites; CLEAR UP BROWN SPOTS IN YOUR LAWN According to Andrew Lopez, a professional […]
      Steve
    • A Drink a Day Keeps the Doctor Away January 3, 2008
      Health benefits from alcohol? Damn right! According to scientists (not just random drunk people anymore), alcohol in moderation is actually good for you. They say that one alcoholic drink a day will help with all kinds of stuff. Your heart Your pancreas Your Joints Your over all health Sometimes I like to combine 2 weeks […]
      Steve
    • About Bloody Time January 2, 2008
      After a night of hard drinking you will wake up either drunk or hung-over. Being drunk is not the problem, it’s the coming down from being drunk and being hung-over that is the problem. The solution; a Bloody Mary. There are 3 types of morning drinkers. There is the person who drinks a Bloody Mary, a […]
      Steve
    • DWI of the Year January 1, 2008
      Here at Don’t Eat the Worm we don’t condone drinking and driving. It is a dumb and reckless move that can cost not only you your life but an innocent person. (Not saying you’re guilty.) BUT Meagan Harper is now a god in DWI/DUI circles. She was busted in Oregon with a .55 BAC. The […]
      Steve
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Guide to Being a Bad Fan

There are plenty of guides out there for different things, very few for bad things. Well I decided that the bad fan needs some sort of a guide so they know exactly how bad they are. Here are a few simple rules that every bad fan must follow.

Take off your shirt – You have to. This is a must. And the fatter and more hair you have the better. This usually works best during sell outs when you are sitting shoulder to shoulder with complete strangers.

Be drunk – It’s best to show up drunk and then get completely plastered during the game. Because sports are just that much better when you’re drunk, and so are you.

Ask for the score constantly – Why would you waste your time looking at the scoreboard when other people can do it for you? Besides, you have beer to drink you can’t be bothered with such time consuming tasks.

Wear a jersey – Not just any jersey though. It has to be of a former player who was complete trash or sucked with your team and is now a star for another. I/E wearing a David Ortiz jersey to a Twins game.

Be really drunk – Yeah, I know it’s already on the list, but it needs to be said again. You must be drunk.

Curse really loud – Everything sentence is better with “fuck” or some variation in it. Example “Bad call ump!” or “Bad fucking call ump!” Which one sounds better? Obviously the second one. Also, parents love to have you swearing like a sailor around their kids.

So there you have it. Just a few tips to get you on your way to becoming the worst fan you can be.

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Sports Blog.

I started a “sports” blog. Since I know not all of the people who read my blog like sports, I just started a blog all about sports and sports related stories.

Http://hitforavg.blogspot.com

So go check it out.

The Winter X-Lames

winter_x_lames.jpg

 I was flipping through channels today and came across the Winter X Games. Let me start by saying that when I was younger I was a HUGE fan of the X Games, both summer and winter. When I saw it today I watched it, I was only mildly entertained. Now that most of these events are in the Olympics are they really that extreme? They need to freshen this thing up, and I think I’m just the man do come up with some ideas.

-To start off the games set up a huge jump and have the Fonz jump a shark tank on a motorcycle. Or better yet, since it’s winter, have him jump the shark tank on a snowmobile, blind folded of course.

-During the snowboard half pipe, have American Gladiators hitting them with those joust sticks every time they try to do a trick.

-Get rid of skiing. This one is pretty self explanatory. No one likes skiing except for rich d-bags.

-Get rid of all of the women’s events until they can do half the things the guys can do.

-Instead of rewarding them for perfect landings, have a competition for the best crash. The crash landings are the main reason I watch this.

These are just a few of my ideas.

Do you guys watch the X Games?

Do you have any ideas on how we can “save” the X Lames?

Breaking News!

This just in….

lt-on-bench.jpg

Ladainian Tomlinson is still on the bench.

I’ll Stick With the City, Thanks

After reading this story I remembered why I hate going out and doing things in nature.

I will never find a dead baby while I’m sitting on my couch drinking beer and eating Cheetos out of my bellybutton.

Duck Hunt

This is as close to hunting as I will ever get. Call me lazy, but why would I go out and hunt for things when I can just buy it at the store already? I’m sure there is something cool about hunting other than just killing things, but I really can’t think of it. I can think of negatives though;

  • No chicks. Women don’t hunt, and if they do, not that hot. Why would you want to be stuck around a bunch of dudes for a weekend in the woods? No thanks.
  • It’s never good weather. Going outside for extend periods of time in late fall is dumb.

Hunting

  • You have to dress like an idiot. As the above picture shows, you do in fact have to dress like a complete tool. You have to wear bright orange colors because hunters are so stupid they will shoot you if you aren’t. (Some are so dumb they’ll still shoot you.)
  • Football is on. This is pretty self explanatory.
  • No chicks. Have I mentioned this yet?
  • Being out smarted by an animal. Yes, if you don’t shoot anything you were out witted by a creature with a brain the size of a pea. (or something about that size.)

I think I’ve made my point. Hunting sucks.

The Mitchell Report.

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past few years I’ll explain this.

Apparently baseball players have been taking steroids and HGH to get bigger, stronger, and healthier. This pleased baseball none. Personally I have to problem with these freaks of nature ripping each other apart, but I digress. They had hearing in congress that did nothing so a senator George Mitchell started his own investigation. 20 months ago it started and today is when it’s released.

What is in it? No one knows. It is a mystery. Some 80 players will be outed as “cheaters” and drug users. What players? No one knows.

I do know 1 guy that won’t be on the list that should though….

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Roger Clemens.

The dude is 100 years old and is pitching better than he ever has. Hmmmmm kind of strange if you ask me.

The big question is, will this change anything?

Personally I think it already has. Is there more things to change? Possibly, but I think for the most part Baseball has “cleaned” up it’s act in the past 2 seasons.

Will I stop rooting for players that may be on this list? Hell no. I don’t care if these guys are on steroids or HGH, Hell, if I could afford HGH I’d take it too.

So tune into ESPN this afternoon to see what’s happening live, I know I will be.

Week 13 Picks…

I just picked up season 1 of The Wire on DVD. It’s AWESOME. If you haven’t seen this show you’re missing out. I don’t think I could do a review that would do this show justice. Just trust me, it is a great show.

Week 13 picks –

ATL @ St. Louis

Buffalo @ Washington

Detroit @ Minnesota

Houston @ Tenn

Jax @ Indy

Jets @ Miami

San Diego @ KC

Seattle @ Philly

San Fran @ Carolina

Tampa @ New Orleans

Cleavland @ Arizona

Denver @ Oakland

Giants @ Chicago

Cinncy @ Pitts

New England @ Baltimore