Smooth Move Chum, Really Smooth

I just read this story and I almost died of laughter.

WEST PALM BEACH, Florida (AP) — An Austrian tourist died Monday after being bitten by a shark while diving near the Bahamas in waters that had been baited with bloody fish parts to attract the predators.

This guy jumped in water that had bloody, yes BLOODY, fish parts in an attempt to swim with sharks.

Why would you do this? WHY!?!!?

People, use your brains. You aren’t in a cage and you aren’t wearing a shark bite suit. Why would you jump into bloody water with fish parts? Haven’t you seen Jaws!? Or Jaws 2!? Or Jaws 3!? (there was a Jaws 3 right?) Sharks LOVE blood, and I’m pretty sure they love the taste of human flesh.

This is a quote from their website found at the end of the story.

To ensure “the best results we will be ‘chumming’ the water with fish and fish parts,” the Web site explains. “Consequently, there will be food in the water at the same time as the divers. Please be aware that these are not ‘cage’ dives, they are open water experiences.”

Why would you pay for this? You could do this yourself. Take a bunch of dead bloody fish, throw them in the water, and then jump in. Yes, that sounds retarded, and it is.

This guy was a lawyer so he had to be semi-smart. What makes a smart person act this dumb? Was it his quest to see a shark up close? Was he on drugs? Is he actually an idiot and someone else took his BAR exam? (do they even have a BAR exam in Austria?)

Everyone knows that animals hate humans and are secretly planning to take the planet back. They are just sitting back waiting, waiting for people to slip. Guess what Markus Groh, you slipped.