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Smooth Move Chum, Really Smooth

I just read this story and I almost died of laughter.

WEST PALM BEACH, Florida (AP) — An Austrian tourist died Monday after being bitten by a shark while diving near the Bahamas in waters that had been baited with bloody fish parts to attract the predators.

This guy jumped in water that had bloody, yes BLOODY, fish parts in an attempt to swim with sharks.

Why would you do this? WHY!?!!?

People, use your brains. You aren’t in a cage and you aren’t wearing a shark bite suit. Why would you jump into bloody water with fish parts? Haven’t you seen Jaws!? Or Jaws 2!? Or Jaws 3!? (there was a Jaws 3 right?) Sharks LOVE blood, and I’m pretty sure they love the taste of human flesh.

This is a quote from their website found at the end of the story.

To ensure “the best results we will be ‘chumming’ the water with fish and fish parts,” the Web site explains. “Consequently, there will be food in the water at the same time as the divers. Please be aware that these are not ‘cage’ dives, they are open water experiences.”

Why would you pay for this? You could do this yourself. Take a bunch of dead bloody fish, throw them in the water, and then jump in. Yes, that sounds retarded, and it is.

This guy was a lawyer so he had to be semi-smart. What makes a smart person act this dumb? Was it his quest to see a shark up close? Was he on drugs? Is he actually an idiot and someone else took his BAR exam? (do they even have a BAR exam in Austria?)

Everyone knows that animals hate humans and are secretly planning to take the planet back. They are just sitting back waiting, waiting for people to slip. Guess what Markus Groh, you slipped.

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12 Responses

  1. Man leaping into fish guts and sharks: Wheeeeeeeeeee!
    Roy Scheider: You’re going to need a bigger brain.

  2. Haha.

    I couldn’t have said it any better.

  3. […] Food Point Of Interest wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt I just read this story and I almost died of laughter. WEST PALM BEACH, Florida (AP) — An Austrian tourist died Monday after being bitten by a shark while diving near the Bahamas in waters that had been baited with bloody fish parts to attract the predators. This guy jumped in water that had bloody, yes BLOODY, fish parts in an attempt to swim with sharks. Why would you do this? WHY!?!!? People, use your brains. You aren’t in a cage and you aren’t wearing a shark bite suit. Why would you ju […]

  4. Actually, Sharks don’t usually eat humans or want to eat humans. It ain’t in their natures. But when they smell blood, they get hungry, and if you get in their way… well… it’s bad news.

    Anyone who’s seen Finding Nemo would know that.

  5. That’s false.

    Everyone in the know (mostly me) would know that there is an animal conspiracy to rid the Earth of humans.

    And Finding Nemo isn’t based on facts like Jaws 1, 2, and 3(?) were.

  6. I saw something on tv that was a similar story. Only, they got it on camera. Before hand, they were excited about swimming with sharks. But this guy wore regular shorts in the water. He was shocked when one of the sharks bit his calf and ripped it off. IDIOT.

  7. You should know what happens when you swim with the sharks. I don’t think that applies to attorneys anymore.

    Natural selection is alive and well.

  8. Maybe Melsa should see your post on why the ocean is a mean mofo.

    I don’t even like swimming in a lake but the OCEAN? HELLLLLLS NO! They are WAY more creatures living in there. He wouldn’t even need to buy his own fish – he could have just cut himself and jumped in. What a fucktard.

  9. Man, you have to love that kind of devotion.

    And to be clear, the Jaws series ended with the fourth entry, entitled “Jaws: The Revenge” – one of the biggest pieces of cinematic shit ever.

  10. Adam – This video needs to be on youtube. I would watch it over and over again.

    Dennis – I love natural selection.

    Lucky – This dude was definitely not smart. Why wouldn’t you be in a cage? And the ocean is a cruel SOB.

    Bronson – Haha. Jaws 4 was the only one not based on facts, that’s why I didn’t put it on there. (pretend like you know what I’m talking about.)

  11. There’s no BAR exam in Austria- just kangaroos.

  12. Kangaroos are in Australia. But maybe they all immigrated there from Austria?

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