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Ow My Ass.

Why do they make toilet paper that isn’t soft? Seriously, that shit hurts. You are better off taking a piece of news paper and wiping with it than using some of the toilet paper they have out there.

And why is it, that when ever your shit isn’t solid and you take a dump that isn’t at your house (where you have excellent toilet paper that feels like angels are touching your.) you end up using toilet paper that you can see through? I thought the whole idea behind toilet paper was to get the shit off of your ass and into the toilet with out it touching your hand. Am I missing something here?

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8 Responses

  1. That’s how it is here at work. The paper is so thin, you have to use half a roll just to make sure there is no rippage. No one wants that.

  2. Yeah, work is ALWAYS the worst place.

  3. I hate John Wayne Toilet Paper. Rough, tough, and doesn’t take shit off of anyone.

  4. Try wetting it first.

  5. Hadn’t you heard? Pretty girls don’t poop so I’ve never had that problem.

    I will say, however, that those Charmin commercials with the bear with pieces of tp stuck to his butt are soooo disgusting.

  6. Oh Steve…I’ve missed your blog. I’m pretty sure one of the last times I commented it was about you shitting at work.

    And you’re right. What is the fucking point. I work for the state so our TP is the bottom of the barrel…cheapest stuff they can find.

  7. Are you writing this while ON the toilet? Sounds like stall talk to me buddy.

  8. I miss George Costanza when I read this..

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