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Horse Face and the Sea Turtles

Sex in the City became a movie this weekend, much to the disappointment of penis’ everywhere. It was fine when these old ugly chicks were on small TVs, but now they are on 25 foot screens.

I discussed, more like yelled about how shitty this movie is, with some girls I work with. None of them would agree with me that these chicks are as far from attractiveas they could possibly be. They would try to tell me that so-and-so is hot and a slut, but they would use their Sex in the City name so I’d have no idea who they were talking about. My head almost exploded. 

Seriously, who wants to see shriveled up old hags on a huge ass screen hooking up with dudes? Not me, I’ll tell you that. They should use this movie in Guantanamo to torture the terrorists, they would tell everything they knew after five minutes of this shit fest.

Some would say, “Steve how can you hate a movie you’ve never seen?”

To which I’d reply, “If I want to see horses I watch horse racing. At least then I can gamble on the outcome.”

I’d rather not have sex if those four broads were my choices.

 

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13 Responses

  1. Really? OK, so I do think that SJ Parker may possibly be THE ugliest woman alive, I think “Charlotte” (whatever her real name is…) is extremely pretty.

    *waits for King Steves head to explode*

  2. You’ve just made quote of the week with your horse racing comment. Absolute brilliance sir.

  3. I never watched the show, but I still hate it. i can’t stand when girls mimick the bull shit they see on TV. Especially this gay ass shit.

  4. Allison – No…NONE of them are “pretty.”

    Fast Eddie – Wooo! I love quote of the week!

    Hierophant – Girls should mimick pornos more, but not soft core ones.

  5. I’d rather them mimick soft core porn than Sex in the City.

  6. I’d do the blonde but then again that ain’t saying much.

  7. I couldn’t agree more. These are some of the ugliest bitches on the planet.

  8. Hahaha…I watched this movie on opening night and would love to see it a few more times…but then again I don’t have to think about the idea of banging them and throwing up afterwards, so it’s a lot easier for me 😉

  9. Try it, I am sure that you will be shocked by the results!

  10. now i feel ashamed of all the wanks i had looking at them!
    😦

  11. hahaha, they are definitely unattractive and old.

  12. HA! This is really funny

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