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That Mummy is my Sister and McDonald’s is Dumb

I haven’t been keeping up with the news lately since I’ve been working a lot. I decided to check out a few stories to see if I could find anything blog worthy. Well this story stuck out.

Apparently an 80 year old woman was living with her sister’s mummified body. She died around 3 years ago. Yes, 3 years ago. The mummy was in the kitchen, possibly the worst spot for a dead body, partially eaten from the dog and cat and covered by news papers. Did this lady get a clean up lesson from Big Daddy? Seriously, everyone knows that if you want to get rid of a body you put it in your trunk wrapped in a blanket and throw it into a river. I thought that was common knowledge. Sheesh.

This is my favorite part of the story.

The Detroit Free Press says authorities removed the surviving sister Wednesday night and took her to a crisis center. She is also aged in her 80s and appears to have mental problems.

Seriously? You really think she has mental problems? What was your first guess? THE DEAD LADY IN HER KITCHEN MAYBE?!?! Jesus Christ, give me a break. Of course she’s crazy. Even Stevie Wonder can see that she is crazy.


Today on my lunch break I went to McDonald’s. I’m not a huge fan but decided to go against my better judgement. I drive there and see a huge line for the drive thru and decide to go in.

No customers, awesome.


Not awesome. Not even close.

Why do they have the dumbest people work the registers at fast food places? That’s the second most important job there damn it! Have the idiots sweep the floors and throw those urinal cakes in the urinals, don’t have them take my order.

I order my food, 2 mc chickens NO MAYO and a 4 piece mcnugget.

I see my receipt on the counter in front of me and see this lady didn’t specify I wanted no mayo. So I asked her nicely in a calm tone if she put no mayo on my food.

“No. You didn’t say you wanted no mayo.”

“Yeah I did.” Why the hell would I want something on my food that I don’t even like!? You’d think I’d remember that. It took all my energy not to jump over the counter at this lady.

Then it happened. I heard one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. The lady who brought me my food heard me telling the other lady about the “mayo incident” and asked me “would you like me to make you 2 new ones without mayo?”

My brain almost exploded.

Why would I want you to get my order right? That would just make sense lady. I just wanted to start choking people right there in the middle of McDonald’s. I guess good help is hard to find.


18 Responses

  1. I’m sure you handled it in an adult fashion even though the workers there were morons, but I couldn’t help but think of the lady who called 911 from the Burger King drive-thru because they gave her a regular burger instead of a western burger.

    If you haven’t heard it, you will definitely drop your fries laughing:

  2. I told them I wasn’t in a hurry. I get an hour lunch and all I do is sit around on break so it wasn’t that bad. Just aggravating.

    I have heard that. I laugh every time I hear it. Haha.

  3. In the mummy article, I love the casual mention of the Dog and cat eating the body, like its just normal and expected.

    I HATE McDonald’s, I avoid going there at all costs

  4. At least she wasn’t having sex with the body, incestuous necrophilia is serious crazy.

  5. But if you are going out, you might as well go all out… er, right?

  6. Also… Steve sucks.

    He joined a interpretive dance team!

  7. Interpretive dance? SOMEONE CALL 111… ERR WAIT.. 911….. WE HAVE AN EMERGANCY.

  8. Evyl – There is always that.

    Jeff – I only did it to meet chicks. lol.

    Queen – 111 might be a better option. Or even 411.

  9. I think it’s sexy that she lived with the mummy.

  10. That is hot^ How you doin?

  11. If those McDonald’s bitches weren’t at least hot, you need to strangle them.

  12. Fast food establishments are filled with idiots because that’s what they are bred for. Who else would work there? If you’re not dumb, you’re too smart to try and work there.

  13. is it not normal to have your sister mummified and hidden in your kitchen? hmm…

    and mcdonald’s is the worst!! bk all the way!

  14. Abarclay – I suppose it could be sexy. If she dressed the mummy up a little.

    Romi – I really should have. And they worked at McDonald’s…Of course they weren’t hot.

    Bronson – True that.

    Lisa – Umm…I don’t think I want to see your kitchen…And BK is way better I agree, but McDonald’s is closer to my work.

  15. Dude, think about it. For three straight Halloweens, that was the go-to house on the block. It was all about the ten-three-one.

  16. Haha. That’s sick dude.

  17. Oh Steve…I’ve missed your blog. 🙂

  18. you should’ve assaulted with them with some pizza!
    besides that’s no way to treat the king! 😀

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