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A What Now?

Two weeks ago on a Friday night, my brother and I were going to play some poker with some friends. On the way to the game we stopped at McDonald’s to get some food. While in McDonald’s some strange things happened to me.

While standing in line waiting my turn, Hispanic counter guy says “Hey bud, I can help you here” to me apparently. Though I’ve never met this guy before in my life I am his “bud.” So after ordering from my “bud” I stood around talking to my brother waiting for my food. This is where I have the most confusing conversation I’ve ever had in my life.

There was an old guy sitting near the counter, he must have been eating previous to our arrival since he had no food on his table. I took off my winter hat to scratch my head, which I had just shaved earlier in the day. I must have looked at this old guy and he must have been lonely, because he started talking to me. I guess you could call it talk. I’ve had more productive conversations with animals. He said to me, and I’m paraphrasing at best;

“Frumpslumption dingelehysh shueould.”

How do you respond to that!? I think I covered up my confusion pretty well with a confident “yeah” and a head nod. It wasn’t good enough. This guy wanted a conversation.

“Yousleodged yakamaeotasheu dluguegsej?”

“Uh huh” is all I could muster out this time.

Then I heard it! A word I could understand!

“Msstoestle cold inetseo ousedside.”

Cold? Did he say cold? He must be talking about the weather! I can talk about that! I was just outside!

“Yeah it is cold outside.” I replied.

“Lumblesahe hsoeshtes dbusetst.”

What?! Why can’t he talk!?! This is killing me!

“Yeah, I think it’s supposed to warm up this weekend.”

This seemed to please him. Sensing a break in the “conversation” I turned around and started talking to my brother again. He saw the confused look on my face and asked me what that guy asked me. I told him I had no idea and we both laughed, grabbed our food and left.

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16 Responses

  1. aww poor guy. maybe he was having a stroke.

  2. I hate those awkward “I have no idea what you just said but I will try and pretend” moments!

  3. I hate when you are perfectly content not talking to anyone, I basically live out of airports, and some jack ass or lady thinks that because I have head phones on and my hood up that I must want to talk.
    Then when you can ignore them no longer, it turns out to be a conversation that I could care less about. I am a friendly person, but I know when I am not wanting to be bothered or talked to, I look the part.
    Same thing at work, I always ware my head phones, if I am working AND waring my head phones, I do not want to fucking talk! So do not stop my while I am working, just to tell me how drunk you got last night… See when I finish a job early, I get to fly home sooner; so leave me the fuck alone and let me do my god damned job.

  4. Melsa – I don’t think that was his problem. Haha.

    Adam – Yeah. I didn’t want to ask him what he said just incase I didn’t understand it again. Then it becomes a never ending cycle.

    Jeff – Hahaha. Plane conversations are the worst. You are stuck next to that person for hours. I just tune people out at my work and play solitare on the computer.

  5. He was asking you to blow him (don’t ask me how I know that).

  6. i had a “conversation” like that once… with a cracked out homeless lady outside first ave… she said something like “gaodifh little girls asldkfhe think they’re big shit aoienho;fi lasidn grab em aoiengg drag em in a dumpsterl aosign neer see em aoiren!”

  7. I had awkward airplane conversation today!!! HATE IT!

    Gibberish is the worst. Those people are fucking nuts.

  8. Romi – Personal experience? Heh.

    Lisa – First Ave is the WORST! There are crazy people out there.

    Lucky – That sucks. I pretend I’m asleep, that’s my trick.

  9. Another bad place for crazy talkers… White Castle (any of them), anytime after 3 am.

    Agree with Romi, but I am sure it was “Can you blow me where the pampers is?”

  10. I don’t go into White Castle. I’ve seen the kind of people that go in there and I don’t want to have a confrontation with them. Heh.

  11. !reve sruoy fo tsop etiruovaf ym si siht .emosewa gnikaerf s’taht

  12. This was your favorite?

    Do you know how hard that was for me to read? My brain hurts now.

  13. Haha.. I’m os os yrros.. I’ve been watching Twin Peaks lately and this just reminds me of it. If you ever see him again please record him on your mobile or something. I loved it.

  14. I’ve never seen that show.

    I’ll be sure to video tape him if I see him again. Just for you.

  15. It’s a good show.

    You’re a champ!

  16. I’ll take your word for it.

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