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Should I Feel Bad?

A few days ago a kid who graduated a year after me overdosed on heroin and died. I never really hung out with this kid or knew him that well.

Am I supposed to feel bad for him? That is what keeps running through my head. When I first heard about it the first thing that I blurted out was “sucks to be him.”

I don’t want to be insensitive or anything. It would suck to be his family. But can you really be surprised by this? How could you be? Someone is shooting drugs into their veins, you can’t expect them to live forever.

I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but the dude was using drugs. He was contributing to the downfall of our society. In my opinion he is/was trash. There are very few people lower than drug addicts. They are weak in their minds and their bodies. If you don’t have enough respect for yourself to get clean and not use, then I have none for you. That’s just how I feel.

I know people who are hooked on drugs and I know people who have kicked addiction. I understand it’s a hard thing to do. But as a an adult you should know better than to be using dope. It’s that simple.

Am I wrong for not feeling bad at all for this kid? Would you feel bad? Do you feel bad?

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24 Responses

  1. I found your site on google blog search and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. Just added your RSS feed to my feed reader. Look forward to reading more from you.

    Karen Halls

  2. Awesome. Glad you liked them.

  3. No, it’s not wrong to not feel bad. I would not feel bad necessarily, but maybe sad that someone was not able to kick the addiction soon enough.

  4. No, I don’t think you should feel bad. Yes, it sucks that he died and what his family and friends are going through is awful BUT he was an addict who obviously wouldn’t get help. He did this to himself. I don’t think you sound like an asshole at all. I wouldn’t feel bad either.

  5. Although he was using drugs, he was still a good guy, a guy that looked out for his friends. Yes he had problems, he has used drugs since he was in middle school; I am not saying its an excuse, but he was struggling and trying very hard to clean his life up.
    If you don’t know him you don’t have to feel bad; and Lucky, he did get help.

    Drugs are an extremely dangerous and controlling substance

  6. I shouldn’t have assumed he didn’t get help – my sincere apologies. This is obviously a very sad situation.

    It sounds like Steve knew OF him but did not “know” him and I think it’s okay for him to not feel bad for the guy.

  7. I have dealt with addiction in my family my wholfe life. I am personally very against them and can’t stand them. Luckily I have never lost anyone due to a drug overdose. It is hard to feel for someone who dies because of this. Addiction I believe is a disease, but it’s also something yo can get under control. Tons of people get clean and sober all the time so when someone throws out the disease thig as an excuse I throw back a bullshit in their face. It’s simply a choice they ave decided to make and an extremely selfish one at that…

  8. Hi there,

    You should not have to feel bad, but if you want to be a ‘nice’ human being, you would care and not judge them – believe it or not – addicts have their reasons (be it right or not).

    Just get the fact straight about the dope – those who know drugs knows that ‘dope’ (a.k.a. weed, cannabis, marijuana etc.) is NOT the problem – it’s the chemicals that screws a person up.

    Thanks for speaking up on the topic – it is a underrated problem.

    Chiau-la-la

  9. Adam – Yeah, I understand what you’re saying. It sucks when people can’t get off of that road.

    Lucky – Well I’m glad I’m not an asshole. Heh.

    Jeff – I sort of knew him. I used to see him around but I was never like friends with him.

    Lucky – Indeed

    Amanda – I agree that it is selfish. Very selfish.

    LWRHA – When I said dope, I meant heroin. Dope is just a general term. Marijuana in my opinion is bad. There are chemicals in marijuana, and they aren’t good for you.

  10. It depends on if he were a douche or not. According to Jeffery C, it seems like he was a good guy who did try to get help, so I guess it’s ok to feel bad for him.

  11. i don’t know if i would feel bad if it was someone i didn’t really know. i’d feel really weird, as i always do when i realise that someone i met has died. it would be uncomfortable. but, i don’t think i’d feel anything particularly profound, as such feelings are usually saved for people i know well and have strong feelings about in life.

  12. DT – All I ever heard about this dude was that he was a druggie. So who knows.

    Nicolle – If one of my friends died of a drug OD I don’t think I’d feel bad. I think I would be pissed at them.

  13. Don’t get me wrong, I feel the same way on drugs as most of you, and you do not have to feel bad… Its up to people to feel how the want to feel…

    Right now I feel like this made no sense, I am on 2 hours of sleep right here.

  14. I got it.

    I think we think about the same on the issue of drugs.

  15. you shouldn’t feel bad just because you sort of knew who he was. i feel bad that addiction is even a problem in the first place…

  16. Yeah. Addiction is a crazy thing.

  17. Wow. Sounds like you just don’t understand the whole addiction thing. People who use drugs KNOW that they shouldn’t. If everyone who used drugs could simply stop because they wanted to, we wouldn’t have any drug addicts. You think they do it for fun? Being addicted is not fun in any way. They need help, they are in a very bad place. They need to be offered help, not cold, insensitive words.

  18. Tori, I agree… I am glad someone understands

  19. Tori – I do understand the whole addiction thing. If you want help you get help it’s that simple.

  20. Many, many people who are addicted to drugs cannot afford the help. Rehabs and detoxes and half-way houses all cost money. If every addict could simply get help because they wanted it, very many people would be drug-free right now. Unfortunately, it is not that easy. Until you have lost a loved one to an overdose, or seen a family member battle drugs for years and years and years, or actually have been addicted to drugs yourself, you have no place to make judgements. The statement “as an adult you should know better then to be using dope. it’s that simple” is nothing but ignorant. You may think that you have the simple and to-the-point answer for those on drugs, but since you are not educated in the matter, you should only be offering your sympathy.

  21. I personally have been dealing with addiction for quite some time. I started using Oxycontin in my Sophomore year of highschool. Like Tori said, many addicts cannot afford the help that they need, others do not know how or where to look, and there are even some people who are scared or too proud to ask for help. The truth is, addiction is a horrible disease that has plagued this planet as far back as humans have been on this planet. Most people don’t start using drugs because they want to be a drug addict. There are plenty of reasons people start. For example…some people do it to fit in, some do it to “numb” their emotions, some people do drugs because they feel like they can talk to anyone or do anything when they are under the influence. I’m sure it wasn’t your plan to bash drug addicts, but remember, a drug is a drug, no matter what it is. It doesn’t matter if it’s marijuana, crack, heroin, meth, whatever it may be, it’s still a drug. And remember, alcohol is also a drug and just as addictive as any other. I hope you don’t take this as an insult in any way form or fashion. Don’t feel bad for the guy, but I personally would feel bad for his family and friends. This will be the end of my rant. Thank you for your time. 🙂

  22. AFTERMATH

    With Eyes turned inward, my thoughts run ramped; seeking out the wells of wisdom that once ruled and crowded my mind. Knowledge of morals are merely twinkling upon the waters as a reflection of the stars upon a lake on a windy summer night. Like a memory lost in the endless sea of stars scattered throughout the universe. My Eyes, not turned toward the sky, but down into the rippling waters, straining to focus upon the Reflection of a single star. Knowledge of self lost somewhere deep within that Sea. Frustration is overwhelming as I struggle to control the world around me to calm those waters, so that I may focus on just one reflecting light. All the elements around me seem overwhelming – uncontrollable, rendering me impotent; Dead; useless: a mere phantom of my own reality. Only memories of strength remain glistening and radiating off the waves of that now uncontrolled sea. Memories of the man I once was, and could and should be, the lights reflecting on waves to pull together into one mass of light as a wall against my own understanding. My own will lying asleep somewhere beneath; conscious of the slumber; my mind begs my will to arise, to calm the winds, so that the waves may cease, that I may once again focus upon the stars that I know can be seen.

    By: Jeremy Sean O’Brien (October 2000)

    These profound words came from the depths of Jeremy’s soul lost in a sea of drug addiction.

    My son
    Jeremy walked out of a world of innocence carrying with him all the intelligence and wisdom he had gained at the ripe age of umpteen years. Based on this knowledge, he knew he was ultimately in control of his life and no one, nothing was strong enough to breach his fortress, and he could experience the pleasure of drugs while maintaining a productive life. But Jeremy lost everything, his jobs, his homes, money; he sacrificed it all, and finally,

    Jeremy died of an overdose September 24, 2006. The drugs’ destiny was fulfilled, Jeremy’s destiny was consumed.

    In loving memory (Jeremy Sean O’Brien May 15, 1973 — September 24, 2006)

  23. Jeremy Sean O’Brien was my brother. I’ve only met him twice in my 15 years of life. Jeremy knew that doing drugs was wrong, and he went to rehab. But he couldn’t stop. You see, even if your brain realizes that drugs are bad, you’re body doesn’t. My brother was very nice to me when we did meet and overall he was kind to his younger siblings(of course he did some brotherly stuff). Its 13 days till the date of Jeremy’s death. I believe that even though Jeremy did bad things, he went to Heaven. Even though I never really knew him and he was only my half-brother, I loved him. Jeremy we miss you. All of us.

  24. hey mmmkkk soo i dont really know what to say but ill start with my name im alexis im 16 years of age and i am a recovering drug addict i started using at the age of nine because i grew up in a home with drugs all around me and a mother constantly being ok with giving me drugs i never had to hide it i always just ask to get high with her. i moved with my dad in the fourth grade and then started to recover untill my first rape happened then back to the drugs i went i started to ignore and avoide my family constantly lying and selling myself for drugs my dad became worryed and sent me to ryther rehab in washington i then started to notice how fucked up i actually was and was soo scared for my life that i didnt want to use again i knew it was something that had to stop and something that i deffinatly needed to work on with help. i was there from may 30 to july 29th 2008 i suddenly felt free and ready to use again i was selling drugs to make money and do other drugs it was that one night that changed my life when i walked to the car and two guys jumped out and started to rape me violently screaming for somebody to help i knew i had messed up ans needed to stop this life of day by day suicide attempting suicide one day at a time.. i started goin to na and aa meeting and have been sober since december 4th 2008.

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