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A Pancreas Story

This could be either a good post or a really, really mean post. Just remember; It’s all a joke.

Pancreas

Hi, I’m Patrick Swayze’s pancreas and I have a confession to make, I don’t really have cancer.

This whole story is just an act, I am an actor’s pancreas you know. Why would I fake cancer you ask? Well Pat was going to start filming a new movie, Dirty Dancing with Ghosts. I just couldn’t go through that again.

Pancreas’ aren’t know for having a heart, but let me tell you folks I feel for you. I’ve had to watch all of these movies thousands of times. For those of you that haven’t seen my movies count your blessings. I had to come up with something to stop this movie from being made and life threatening cancer seemed to be the best way to do it.

I suppose I have some apologies to throw out now.

– Sorry fans of Ghost and Dirty Dancing. There will never be a movie combining these two pieces of trash. They would never have been made if I would have thought of this whole cancer thing sooner.

– Sorry news media. I know you guys like tear jerking stories. I know you guys were all over this story like Rosie O’Donnell on an all you can eat donut buffet, but it is simply not true.

– Sorry cancer. Not this time sucker!

– Sorry Pat. I didn’t mean to put you through this, but you had it coming. Ghost?! Dirty Dancing!? To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar!? Road House!? Come on man, you’re lucky you weren’t killed a long time ago.

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12 Responses

  1. […] Celebrity photos, celebrity gossip – CelebritySnap wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt Hi, I’m Patrick Swayze’s pancreas and I have a confession to make, I don’t really have cancer. This whole story is just an act, I am an actor’s pancreas you know. Why would I fake cancer you ask? Well Pat was going to start filming a new movie, Dirty Dancing with Ghosts. I just couldn’t go through that again. Pancreas’ aren’t know for having a heart, but let me tell you folks I feel for you. I’ve had to watch all of these movies thousands of times. For those of you that haven’t seen my mov […]

  2. I love To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar! It was soo much fun!

  3. That movie sucks so much ass.

  4. I would have to agree…he is pretty lucky that he made it this long. He doesn’t have a very stellar career….

  5. First off, I love Road House…

    Did anyone read the actual story? My question is, who the fuck still sends telegraphs? What the pony express’ horses died? Or maybe it was raining so you couldn’t send smoke signals… Last I heard they had crazy inventions called PHONES! I am not even talking about cell phones either, uses old school corded phone.

    I also like the fact that the story first leaked in the National Enquirer!

  6. LOL @ Jeffrey

    Dude…To Wong Foo was HI-larious 🙂 But his career pretty much sucked. Wasn’t he in a movie with Randy Travis and Meat Loaf??? hahahahahahaha

  7. Hahaha…I will openly admit that I love “Dirty Dancing” when I’m feeling hormonal and chick-ish, and before you insult me, I will pre-emptively tell you to fuck off..

    LOL…but seriously I think you’re awesome so let’s make love not war 😉 ….

  8. Destiny – Yeah. Steller isn’t a word that I would use to describe his career either.

    Jeff – Well where I work we send things like telegraphs through the computer.

    Lucky – To Wong Foo is NOT funny. It’s a bunch of dudes dressed up like chicks.

    Romi – You’re a chick, you’re supposed to like Dirty Dancing. As a guy, I’m supposed to hate it. Woo! I love making love!

    I thought I would catch some serious heat for posting this. Apparently my readers are just as sick as I am.

  9. Hence the FUNNY! hahahaha 🙂

    Steve, if we weren’t sick, we wouldn’t read your stories of shitting at work, see pics of hot chicks on toilets or truly appreciate porn.

  10. That’s not funny at all.

    Now that I think about it, you guys are sicker than I am. I just write about taking shits, you all read it.

    Sickos.

  11. Wesley Snipes in a dress = FUNNY!

    LMAO Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

  12. Steve that is called an email… Unless you are sending these emails in mores code…?

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