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Reason Number 89 Why I Didn’t go to College

 Read my new blog about the Danica Patrick photo spread in Sports Illistrated.


I read this on The Smoking Gun and laughed.

College is so lame, and frats are even lamer. For being in college these kids are pretty stupid. They trashed motel rooms and got caught. Losers. What the Hell were they doing in a motel room anyways? Did they have hookers or something? The cops didn’t find any used condoms on the floor so I’m assuming they didn’t have any real fun. How much fun can you have with a bunch of guys in a room with a keg and bottles of liquor? Well I guess you can trash the room and get caught and charged with a felony. That’s really fun. I’m shocked none of these guys are wearing a teal shirt.

Also, they had a keg of beer, but not just any beer. Keystone Light.


Why would you fill a keg with this trash? I would rather have a monkey pee in my mouth than drink Keystone Light. Seriously, why? Were they all out of PBR or Schlits?

I’m actually surprised that there was no naked guys involved. Usually when you hear “frat pledges busted” they are usually caught doing some gay shit so they can be part of a group of closet gays. No thanks I say.


18 Responses

  1. they all look like your typical college frat-boy douchebags. they deserve to get busted.

  2. Apparently none of those douche bags are familiar with the local Super Cuts. That first dude looks like the dorky blond guy from Dazed and Confused. I can’t imagine why there weren’t any chicks there.

  3. Adam – That is what I was thinking.

    Jimmy – I couldn’t have said it better myself.

    Lucky – I hated that movie. They were probably all playing hide the wiener.

  4. That movie was lame.

    Fast Times at Ridgemount High > Dazed and Confused.

  5. I haven’t seen Fast Times 🙂

  6. I will tell you, as an RA at a college… people do some stupid stuff outside of frats, too.

  7. Lucky – It is a GREAT movie.

    Melsa – I’m sure they do. People are idiots everywhere. Frats just make you do stupid shit to get in. And that = lame.

  8. LMAO..you will NOT let that teal shirt thing go!!!

    A.K.A….your commitment is hot 😉

  9. I just can’t trust a guy that wears a teal shirt. Heh.

  10. I made it a point to get a teal shirt that says, KING STEVE ROCKS!

  11. I’m Making*

    ok so I wouldnt trust me either if I cant fucking spell right. but if you think about it, how can you trust someone in a teal shirt, when the shirt is telling them the truth? around and around!

  12. Hahaha.

    I’m thinking about opening up an online store that sell tshirts and stuff.

    I’ll probably set it up tomorrow. And I’ll sell a couple of teal shirts with funny things on them.

  13. college-esque keggers are still awesome…i have a few more months when i can say that, since i’m in law school [which is a three year extension of undergrad anyway.] keystone, though? keystone? ew. the bitter beer face ads rock, but keystone is such swill!

  14. I’ve never been to a “college party.” I have been to and have thrown some pretty huge keggers.

    We never drank shitty beer like Keystone though. I get sick just thinking about it.

  15. ugh Keystone light?? FUCK THAT!!

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