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Problems with the News

I watch the news a lot and I’ve noticed some things, and well since this is my blog I’m going to tell you about them.

-When there is a person filling in for one of the “normal” anchors they always say. “This is Dingle Berry filling in Dick Face.” Why do they have to say that? Obviously they are filling in for this other person other wise they would be there!

-If the weather man is a guy, he is always some kooky weirdo. Why? And if it’s a girl, she’s always pregnant. What is with this?

Times Square

-The scroll. I hate the scroll. News stations love the scroll so much they put it on their buildings. The scroll is the worst. It tells you a sentence of a news story and then they don’t talk about it on the actual news. It’s like going to a restaurant looking at the menu and then not being able to order any of it because they only serve salads. (assume you’re not ordering a salad.) It’s mind boggling.

-Old and ugly news ladies. I know I’ve talked about this before but I still can’t fathom how these old and ugly news ladies have jobs on TV. Put young hot chicks on there and tell me all kinds of bad shit and I won’t care. Would you rather have some old ass lady telling you the world is going to end or a curvy young super model type telling it to you?

-I don’t care about your holiday vacations, your kids, your stupid jokes, your fake laughter. GIVE ME THE NEWS. It’s a simple concept. You read from the teleprompter and give me information that might be useful. Noone cares that your kid threw up 9 times the night before.

-Get rid of the traffic report. It is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. All you people do is look at cameras. A retard could do that. Does it really stop anyone from driving that route? No. So just quit life traffic news people, you’re useless.

Doing is a news show isn’t that hard. Just give us the news and keep all of the other garbage to yourselves.

Thank you.

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12 Responses

  1. The scroll is so effing stupid. I am concentrating on the scroll but then I miss what the hell they are actually talking about. I try not to read it but there is always a word that attracts the eye. “Murder” “Alcohol” “Alien” “Hunting Accident”

  2. Stupid scroll. Waste of good tv screen space. I miss the word of the day…

  3. anger steve…such anger…

  4. Lucky – Yeah, they use those keywords but then tell you very little about what happened. It’s like “There was a murder today.”

    Jimmy – Word of the day was the hardest part of my blog man. If you want to email me words I’ll put them in. It was getting to the point that it took me longer to find a word than it did to read the news, and then write the blog.

    Amanda – Really? I was actually trying to come off a little funny. Eh, oh well.

  5. Ha! I love your observation about the weather guy always being such a douche. Why are they so obnoxious?? No one wants that. Why do they think we want that??

  6. I have no idea. I’ve never seen just a normal guy talking about the weather. They always have to have some sort of gimmick. Just tell me if it’s going to rain asshole.

  7. I never watch the news, but I do hate that Kramer guy who does stock shit on CNN or whatever channel it is.

  8. That Kramer guy is funny. He gets into it. Standing on his desk and shit. I laugh when I see him do that.

  9. dude you beat me to this. i hate it when the news reporters act mad fake. that just pisses me off. You know they arent really that happy.

  10. Yeah, they are a bunch of liars.

    You can go ahead and steal it if you want. I’m sure I stole it from someone. Heh.

  11. Hahhaha…you are SO right about the pregnant weather ladies, and I noticed the dudes always have like this “crazy eye” going, and an extra boisterous laugh…it’s kind of creepy in a serial-killer sort of way..

  12. They probably are serial killers. That would explain why they are overly nice and crazy.

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