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Case Closed

How long has it been since that little British girl was stolen from her hotel room while her parents were out getting bombed in the hotel lobby? 1 year? 2 years? 

What ever the amount of time, they have now come out with a sketch of a person who may or may not be the guy who took her.



We can tell a couple of things from this masterpiece.

1 – He is British. Look at his teeth. He is either British, or has a dentist from England.

2 – He likes to play pocket pool. Seriously. In 2008 do people still walk around with both hands in their pockets? He is either:

A) Trying to take things out of both pockets at the same time.


B) Playing with himself/hiding a boner caused by little girls/boys.

3 – The dude is gay. Why the Hell is he wearing a teal shirt? Is he a time traveler from the 80’s? Better question; Why do they make teal shirts? Solution; Have all sex offenders wear teal shirts.

Think about it, if you had sex offenders and weirdos wearing teal shirts you would be able to see them when they are looking into day care centers and sitting on benches over looking play grounds.

Now just for fun, a bunch of idiots wearing teal shirts.


The more I see the color teal, the more I hate it. What the Hell is it? Green? Blue? Choose a side! It’s like the Switzerland of colors. Like Blue-Green. You can’t be both mofo! Choose a side.


*** UPDATE ***

I know who the kidnapper is!


The kidnapper is Al Pacino. I’m sure he is just rehearsing a movie part and when the movie is done shooting he will return that kid.

14 Responses

  1. al pacino hahahaaa oo thats funny im gonna be lmao at this shit all week..anyhow i agree band teal shirts or give them 2 offenders good idea

  2. It does look like him right? It’s not just me is it?

    Teal shirts suck. I hate them.

  3. I’m sure Al Pacino will return the kid. Unless of course he’s playing a child molester/killer in his next movie.This method acting is really getting ridiculous!
    I’ve got a suggestion to deal with the teal shirt guys. Carry a pair red tinted binoculars with you and when you see one of them, smash them on their heads with it.

  4. Yeah, these method actors are getting carried away.

    That is a GREAT idea!

  5. i think i went on a date with thus dude…

  6. you dated a goofy lookin dude wearing a teal shirt?

  7. why you messing with my man, steve? Ok he may resemble this loser in some small warped fokked up way but, really don’t f up my vision of him…I really liked Pacino until now, uh thanks alot, friend…;[

    I know, u don’t care…
    oh well-such is life..;)))

    hey the rest of what you say is right on though..

  8. pacino is old as hell. isnt he like 100 or something?

    there are plenty of other guys out there that dont look like child abductors.

  9. so i have bad taste…sue me.

  10. Maybe so, steve but hey I’m no spring ck myself hon-I get what i can get..and btw..he doesn’t look like a child abductor, the child abductor looks like him..

    not that it matters any..ok-he’s old…so shoot him. ;))

  11. We definitely need to hook-up Pacino with a mandatory teal t-shirt, hahaha…

    AND here’s a colour-wheel question: do you hate turquoise too? ‘Cause I like turquoise on me from time-to-time, and I’m wearing turquoise in my “About Me” pic, which I’m suddenly feeling more and more self-conscious about….

  12. Amanda – Was he sleeping with stuffed animals too?

    CG – Yeah, we should get rid of him. His good acting days are behind him. Haha.

    Romi – Pacino is getting kinda creepy. He is on the teal shirt wearing list for sure….Teal and turquoise are fine if you are a chick. (I guess) But if you are a dude and you’re wearing teal or turquoise you and a sex offender for sure.

  13. now everytime i see a guy in a teal shirt i’m going to be creeped out, thanks!

  14. Haha. You’re welcome. 🙂

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