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I’ll Stick With the City, Thanks

After reading this story I remembered why I hate going out and doing things in nature.

I will never find a dead baby while I’m sitting on my couch drinking beer and eating Cheetos out of my bellybutton.

Duck Hunt

This is as close to hunting as I will ever get. Call me lazy, but why would I go out and hunt for things when I can just buy it at the store already? I’m sure there is something cool about hunting other than just killing things, but I really can’t think of it. I can think of negatives though;

  • No chicks. Women don’t hunt, and if they do, not that hot. Why would you want to be stuck around a bunch of dudes for a weekend in the woods? No thanks.
  • It’s never good weather. Going outside for extend periods of time in late fall is dumb.

Hunting

  • You have to dress like an idiot. As the above picture shows, you do in fact have to dress like a complete tool. You have to wear bright orange colors because hunters are so stupid they will shoot you if you aren’t. (Some are so dumb they’ll still shoot you.)
  • Football is on. This is pretty self explanatory.
  • No chicks. Have I mentioned this yet?
  • Being out smarted by an animal. Yes, if you don’t shoot anything you were out witted by a creature with a brain the size of a pea. (or something about that size.)

I think I’ve made my point. Hunting sucks.

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15 Responses

  1. Also, if you go out hunting and get drunk, you are likely to shoot yourself.

  2. amen!

    i’m too stupid and uncoordinated to play Duck Hunt competently. real hunting? right. i’ll stick to drinking beer and watching football any day.

  3. Hahaha, I friggin’ had an uncontrollable bout of laughter after picturing you eating cheetos out of your belly button, hahaha…

    And yo, I used to be terrible at that Nintendo game; I blame it all on the gun; it was poor technology which totally fucked up my otherwise awesome aim…

  4. Jimmy – Yeah, that’s never a good plan.

    Nicolla – Beer and football are WAY better than hunting. Plus you can gamble on football.

    Romi – Glad you enjoyed that. Haha…When my brother and I used to play Duck Hunt we would get pissed and end up putting the gun right on the tv and unload on that dog.

  5. You have to go with The Wall.

  6. Hmmm…I think this is in the wrong blog. The Wall is good, but in my opinion Dark Side of the Moon is better.

  7. King – My bad.

  8. It’s cool man. I knew what you were refering to.

  9. What? You’re going hunting on the dark side of the moon?

    As for the family dressed like highway cones, I’m sure they’re nice folks, but come on…that kids looks like he’s about one wedgie away from going postal. Hmmm…what junior needs a rifle.

  10. Hahaha. That was supposed to be in the blog after this one. The music related blog.

    He doesn’t look comfortable at all.

  11. He’s silently praying to every god he’s ever heard of that his friends don’t see this picture and throw it up on their myspace pages. At least with the gloves he’ll leave no finger prints.

  12. You may just be the smartest man EVER. (Don’t get me wrong…I’m no Angela 😉 ) I work for the state agency in TEXAS that deals with hunting. I could write a book about all the dumb hunting stories I have heard in the last 4 years.

    Hunting = Stupid

  13. Joe – Hahaha…

    Lucky – I like to think that I’m pretty smart. I have a lot of friends who hunt and they rant and rave about how fun it is. Then they tell me the story and it involes A LOT of sitting around in the cold. I just don’t get where that is fun.

    Oh man. I bet you could write a book for sure. Maybe you should. I might buy it. Or steal it off the internet.

  14. “You have to wear bright orange colors because hunters are so stupid they will shoot you if you aren’t. (Some are so dumb they’ll still shoot you.)”

    Remember Dick Cheney? http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/02/12/cheney/

    Notice that happened in the great state of Texas. We got about 900 calls.

    Stupid hunters.

  15. […] new thing I’m gonna do. So, King Steve has inspired me to do a new weekly post. (I’m going to shoot for weekly. We’ll […]

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