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Go Green? Go F Yourself

What is with this “Go Green” craze? Everything has to be environmentally friendly now. Pretty soon you won’t even be able to fart without hippies telling you that you’re ruining the ozone or killing a polar bear. Well I am taking a stand. No longer will I “go green.” (not that I ever was before.) I will keep it ‘old school.’

– I will dump my used motor oil down the storm drains. Where else would I put it?

– I will burn my old tires. Why would I pay money to have someone dispose of them? That would be spending green, and I don’t have enough of that.

– Recycle? HA! Why recycle when I can just put everything in one bag and get rid of it?

– I’m going to leave all the lights on in my house. Why would I sit around in the dark? I’m not an animal. I’m a human and I don’t eat enough carrots to see very well in the dark.

– I’ll throw trash out of my car windows while I’m driving. I don’t want trash building up in my car, that would just be gross. Plus prisoners need something to pick up when they are doing the whole chain gang thing.

As you can see there are plenty of things to do to keep the hippies in check. I think you guys should do something anti-green too.


Also check out my new post over at Don’t Eat the Worm.


21 Responses

  1. all hail king steve! finally someone standing up for the polluters!let’s shoot some fuckin polar bears while we’re at it!! 🙂
    and oh yeah al gore can go chew on a celery!

  2. You know it! I’m the voice of the minority.

    I hear polar bear meat is good. We can fatten them up with Al Gore’s fat self. Haha.

  3. that’ll last them for a year. don’t forget to serve Bono meat to them as well. that guy leads the go green hypocrite pack of millionaires who wants the rest of us to walk from place to place sweating like shit.

  4. Bono is the appitiser. (spelling?) He’s a skinny little dude. And noone would really miss him and his shitty singing. Well, except for all the dirty stinky hippies.

  5. Aww… but I love Earth… 😦

  6. im glad to see you doing your part…

  7. Melsa – The Earth will be fine. I’m sure of it.

    Amanda – I do what I can.

  8. I don’t recycle, either. I’m already doing my part to stop global warming, by denying it exists.

  9. If you lived in Minnesota you would know there is no such thing as global warming. It’s -4 degrees today.

  10. I can not stand the sudden trend in being globally conscience… Bono go fuck yourself, same to you Angelina Jolie. Hippies can also suck it; I will be helping in moderation.
    But I will join this Green Team:

  11. p.s. Global Warming is a myth, its just the cycle of the planet… Fuck you Al Gore

  12. Hey Aniche, you better cool it buddy, cause Al Gore has
    some words for you.

  13. Jeff – How much have you read about global warming to declare at a myth. I’m just curious.

    I try to keep quiet on the topic cause I’m too lazy to read up on it and form an opinion.

    Anyways, I’m by no means green, but I’m not anti- let’s help the planet out…as long as I don’t have to do too much work.

  14. Jeff – I’m starting to think that you might be angrier than I am.

    Fast Eddie – That is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time. Haha.

    T-Rex – Jeff is just angry at the world. But I don’t think he is that far off. What proof is there of global warming? And how do we know that this supposive warming isn’t just a cycle that the Earth goes through?

  15. cant you all please think of the polar bears…at least when i forced to watch the inconvenient truth for a class…all i thought about was the sad moment when the lil polar bear floated away…then we all just pretty much just made fun of gore…

  16. I never saw that movie and I probably never will. That movie is bullshit anyway.

    But don’t you guys in Texas have to hate Al Gore?

  17. I have actually read a lot into global warming, and I will only agree that we might be increasing the earths cycle; but the most concrete evidence shows this happens every few thousand if not million years (sorry Christians, the earth is older than 5000 years).

  18. There really is no way to gauge if this is a problem or not. Sometimes I really hate scientists.

  19. Do you people who not care about the environment also not care about the well being of future generations (your kids)?

    And..small things like changing your light bulbs to energy saving bulbs will save you money in the long run on your electric bill. Would you be willing to do little things like this if it helped you out?

  20. Oh shit.

  21. Jah – I don’t have kids. And by the time I do, I’m sure we’ll have this whole thing sorted out. I don’t really think long run. I think short term. And I figure since I work at night, I don’t need light bulbs that save energy. I need light bulbs that are cheap.

    Lucky – Haha.

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