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Known Fact # 75; Batman is better than Superman.

Known Fact # 75

Batman is better than Superman.

It’s something fans of both have argued about since the beginning of time. Who is better, Superman or Batman? The answer is more complex than you might think. First lets examine both their movie and comic personas.

Superman –

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Look at this dorky dude. How does this strike fear into super-villains? And what’s with that stupid looking curl in his hair? You’d think with super powers he’d be able to keep his hair straight.

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Even in the comics he has that stupid thing in his hair! What is he, a flying karate kid? Lame. And why does he need a belt to hold up his tights? Oh, did I mention that he is hurt by a rock? Yeah, kryponite hurts him. What a pussy.

Batman –

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How is Batman not a bad ass? Look at that suit. No tights. Belt actually serves a purpose. (holds gadgets and shit.)

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How can you say anything bad about Batman after seeing this picture? You can’t, unless you’re a complete idiot.

Next their alter egos.

Superman –

Clark Kent– He’s a news paper reporter. That’s pretty much it. Lame. His only disguise is that he wears glasses. WOW. He wears his Superman suit underneath his business suit and runs into phone booths to change. Think about that for a second. To keep his identity hidden he goes into a glass booth to change. And when I say change I mean take off his glasses and suit.

Batman-

Bruce Wayne – He’s a multi-millionaire. He runs his own company, Wayne Enterprise. (I can’t remember what they do, but it’s probably something cool.) His costume is in the Batcave, which is located in a hidden cave below his mansion. He doesn’t fly, so he has all sorts of sweet ass ways to get around. I/E the Batmobile.

I could get into how Superman’s villains are super weak and how Lois Lane is a complete tool, but I won’t. I could also tell you that the Joker is one of the greatest villians of all time, but we’ll leave that for another blog.

It basically boils down to this; If your city is under attack, who do you want defending you?

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15 Responses

  1. so these facts are they made by you or what?

    and i like superman better…but thats only bc val kilmer played him once…

  2. The bat chick on the left looks a bit mannish…

    Batman is infinitely cooler… maybe if Superman had a better outfit he’d be in with a chance?

    And yay.. another Val Kilmer fan above me – Iceman *drool*, but he played Batman, so I guess Amanda is like me and it doesn’t really matter what he plays!!

  3. Amanda – Facts are facts if I made them up or not doesn’t matter….Also, Val Kilmer played Batman.

    Nat – They can’t all be winners. I’m sure Superman couldn’t come up with a cool outfit. He’s just infinitly gay.

  4. I don’t understand how anyone could find a not so attractive male in tights for one thing to be hot, or cool. HE WEARS HIS UNDERWEAR OUTSIDE OF HIS TIGHTS….how is he going to protect himself when he has the shit literally beat out of him by Batman?

    Batman not only has the cool shit, he also has a sidekick. A gay little boy who if brought up in the likeness of Batman will actually turn straight, and prob have rough heterosexual sex with a girl…

    When I was a kid, I would go around dressed in all black and a mask on and pretend to be batman because he was always significantly cooler than superman, or any other comic book hero you can come up with

    Good blog Steve!

    and if you look at my pics (myspace) Batman ain’t the only one having the hotness of Santa’s Bitches. More to come tho…

  5. Hahaha…

    People say that Superman would win in a fight because of his “super strength.” But don’t you think rich ass Bruce Wayne would have some Kryponite laying around to smash him with?

    Robin is so gay. I didn’t even want to bring that up.

  6. Dude, seriously, Batman is totally hot! I mean, come on, the whole Gothic thing with the 50’s flair left over? Superman doesn’t stand a chance. Not with me anyways, and I’m way hotter than Lois Lane. Also, the whole eternal bachelor thing is just so awesome. I mean, how can you be a superhero with some chick hanging off your ass all the time?

  7. Technically, neither of them are superheroes. Superman is an alien, not a man, and his “powers” are only super compared to humans. Batman’s just a rich guy with sweet gadgets.

    Still, batman wins hands-down. Even if we include Robin in the debate.

  8. What about Inspector Gadget???

    I would hit that….

  9. Batman: 8″, soft
    Superman: 5″ hard
    And Batman gadgets? He rules with the extraneous shit.
    End of story.

  10. Your blog just moved that much higher up the ranks of my favorite blogs. Batman is the shit. I like Superman too, but he’s NO BATMAN.

    And Superman is nice to everyone. That’s kind of gay. I like how Batman is a semi dickhead. That’s cool.

  11. Batman is mos def better…but I only have one question about him…….

    Why the need for little nipples on his suit thing? it’s not thin enough where his nipples can make a mark through it….unless his only actual super power is rock hard nipples…but, yeah. It’s a little gay, but not enough to lose to superman.

  12. oh wait…that was a typo i know he played batman…thats who i meant to say i like…grr

  13. oh heck ya on the batman scale for me…he is in my little dream bubble too.
    Scoot over king steve, that pic of batman is great!

  14. Green – He is the man for sure. Just look what the “chick hanging on your ass” does to Spider man. (That’s another blog altogether.)

    DT – Haha…Always have to correct me don’t you?…

    Romi – Inspector Gadget lost points because of the live action movie they made.

    Evyl – Hahaha…I have nothing to add to that.

    T-Rex – Glad it moved up. I’m shooting for the top of the list. If I had super powers, or had a whole bunch of gadgets and shit I’d be a semi-dickhead to people. That’s the American way.

    Derek – I don’t know about the nipple things man. Heh.

    Amanda – Suuuuuuure….

    CowGal – Batman is taking my place in the dream bubble!?!….Oh man.

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