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Weird Dreams…

I took a break from “writing” for a few days, my buddy Jeff posted on here yesterday. Thanks Jeff. Sorry for any confusion that caused anyone. He is hooked up with a contributor tag on my blog and will be posting when ever he feels like it. I will try to figure out something to let you know it’s him. Anyways, on to my dilemma.

While I was on hiatus I had a few strange dreams. Normally I don’t remember my dreams but these two have been permanently branded into my cerebral cortex.

The First Dream

There I was, in a fancy room standing in a line.

“Why am I always standing in lines!” I screamed.

Then I was there, at the beginning of the line, the place everyone strives to be. Why was I standing in line? Obviously to meet President George W. Bush.

When I get up to him I shake his hand and then we go and hang out.

That is the point I woke up in a cold sweat. Why was I hanging out with George Bush? I don’t even like the guy. Was this simply a case of keep your friends close, and keep your enemies closer? Where were we going to hang out? Colombian coco fields?

The Second Dream –  

I was with my dad at some sporting event. I can’t remember exactly what sport or event it was, so let’s just say it was naked chicks mud wrestling. So anyways, we are in the hallways of the stadium when all of a sudden I shit my pants. Yes, I shit my pants. It wasn’t your everyday shit either. It was the kind of shit that you shit after you haven’t eaten in 2 days and all you’ve had to drink was beer and whiskey. So after I shit my pants I go to the bathroom to clean up. Which just involves me taking off my boxers and throwing them on the ground.

That is the point when I woke up laughing.

I need to stop getting drunk before I go to bed…


14 Responses

  1. Was George Bush wearing loafers?
    Super Ultra Ghey

    I rarely remember my dreams either, and when they do come to me they are always fucked up.

    As for when I post a blog… Maybe I can write in an annoying color or font, maybe in bold… Hmmmm, also it says posted by Jeffrey C; or maybe we can ask the readers in a pole who they thought wrote each blog…?

  2. I didn’t look at his feet…He probably was though…He was wearing either loafers or Crocs…

    Yeah, we should probably do that….I was thinking bold text but we could always make a banner or something to post before the blog…

  3. How bout people just read the “posted by” bit? When I logged in I knew that wasn’t you (wasn’t angry enough..ha) and then I looked up and saw Jeffrey C and then I didn’t know what to comment.. there’s no mutual banter and I’ve never been to California and damnit now I NEVER want to.

    So go Jeffrey!!

    I’m gonna go try look these up on some dream site and come back here to tell you what they mean..

  4. george bush and crocs. priceless. it’s fitting aswell, only assholes wear crocs.

    you’re dreams aren’t as weird as mine which almost always involve weird and awkward bathrooms. like the time i had and extremely long and flacid rope like penis and and old man was watching me pee in a bucket and told me i had a nice penis…….WTF?!

  5. Is Jeffery hot?

    and you know be a psych major i can analyze your dreams, but the idea of shitting in your pants in your dream…really wasn’t a topic the professor went over in class…i could never imagine why…

  6. Odd dreams… I thought that was you writing that blog. You usually bitch about something…haha jk

  7. And here I thought you had just changed your name…no just kidden.

    I have freaky weird dreams and I usually remember them, at least long enough to write them down. If only I could find someone to publish that one. Watch out Stephen King.

  8. Perhaps you are rooting for the wrong teams and that is causing you to dream of shitting in your pants while at a sporting event.

  9. That second dream was funny as hell. It’s a good thing you didn’t shit yourself while you were dreaming about it in the dream though. That would have sucked.

  10. My aunt claims to have seen George H.W. Bush in a supermarket before. She may have been lying, but I never miss a chance to recant family memories to people I’ve never met.

  11. Is it bad I laugh at other people misfortunes? I couldn’t stop laughing and mentally pointing my finger at you Steve when I read you shit yourself.

    A dream about president bush is not all that uncommon, I think it is all the information running thru your brain, (bush int such a bad guy, or give bush a chance) Like brain washing if you will. This dream wasn’t your dream, it was the government telling you what they want you to believe (insert twilight zone theme)

  12. lol i havent had dreams where i shit my pants yet but ill be sure to post about it when i do.

  13. hahaha…I love that you woke up laughing after “shitting your pants”, and I wish that the dream had gone on longer, so we could have known what your “cleaning up” routine involved; yeah, I’m sick like that 😉 ….

  14. I’m glad you all think it’s funny that I shit my pants in my dream….

    Nat – You can say whatever you feel like to Jeff, I’m sure he wouldn’t care…And if he does, oh well…Haha..

    Derek – Lay off the drugs bro…

    Amanda – Maybe you should ask him about it…Just say a friend wanted to know…

    Jimmy – Yeah, us Minnesotans hate a lot of things….

    Cow Gal – You should definitely do that…I’d read it…

    Evyl – I NEVER root for the wrong teams!!…

    T-Rex – If I ever wake up covered in my own shit, it’s because A.) I had a SUPER good time last night. Or B.) I’m old as shit. If the answer is B then I’m killing myself…

    DT – Hmmm…You have a crazy Aunt….Haha…But I think everyone does…

    Big Guy – Maybe they are putting stuff in the water…

    Pessimist – Yeah, I’ll definitely read that one….And now that I planted that seed I’m sure you’ll have the dream soon enough…

    Romi – I’m sure the “cleaning up” involved me sticking my ass in the toilet and flushing it a whole bunch…

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