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New Planet/New Life?…

I just read a news story about a new planet that was found that “may” support life. Sounds cool right?

I say no.

Why you ask? Well let me tell you. How do you know these things would be friendly? What if they were meaner than Kim Jong Il?

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Do you really want to be messing with aliens? I’ve seen a lot of movies in my time and 90% of all aliens are pissed off and mean. (The same stat for women.)

And what if the planet is full of pissed off lesbians!?

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That is the last thing we need. I would hate to be the guy who lands on that planet. You fly 41 light years to see new life forms, and instead you’re stuck with Xena and Rosie O’Donnell.

Or what if just as you get close to the planet aliens start shooting out of your stomach! Like in that movie Alien. Yeah, don’t mess with aliens, it is not a recipe for success.

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Another thought, why is it that anytime they find a new planet they automatically assume that there will or already is life on it? Don’t lie anymore NASA. Just tell us what we all know already. You have no idea what you’re doing.


Word of the Day –

Alien Brains

An alignment of the male genitalia such that the testicles are squeezed against the inside of the scrotum, creating the veiny, lumpy appearance of an alien’s brain.

May be performed with just the scrotum and testicles, or with the scrotum tucked over the penis and then pulled tight. Sometimes accompanied by shouts of “alien brains” or simply “blaaaah.”

20 Responses

  1. Wheres your human spirit???
    Ever see “Independance Day”????
    Bring’em on!!!!

  2. Oh man…That’s another reason!…What happens if Will Smth dies in the first attack?….

  3. NASA sucks! The moon landing was fake! They waste to much money on stupid shit!

  4. Yeah, they are a bunch of liars….Jerks….

  5. Yep, they waste money on going to places we as the public will never get to go. Stop using the money that we could be using to fix up this shit nation!

  6. But the space station is so important!!..,,,

  7. For taking up space in space? yeah…

  8. i love how you talk shit about women all the time lol. But yeah. If we find aliens first, we probably have the technology to also destory them… but if they find us, i’m pretty sure we are screwed.

  9. Hey, if we can take out entire ecosystems, assloads of rain forests and countless species, I’m pretty sure we can handle a few pesky aliens. You’re forgetting that as we speak, DARPA is coming up with a way to nuke things from space.

  10. Jimmy – There is a lot of space that they need to fill….

    That Pessimist – Haha…It’s just so damn easy!…Aliens will whoop our asses. I hope we NEVER find them…

    DT – I don’t know what DARPA is, but what if the aliens can absorb energy? And when we shoot a nuke at them it just makes them stronger?….WHAT THEN!!??!?

  11. I would rather have an alien explode out of my stomach than have a pissed off/horny Rosie O’ Donnell chase after me for some angry-lesbian-sex…shudder…

  12. Yeah…The only lesbian sex I’d refuse to watch would have Rosie O’Donnell involved….

  13. a pissed off Rosie is never a good thing. Never.

    love the alien brain! they pulled that move in “Waiting”. God, i love that movie!

  14. Steve, we’ll just expose the aliens to water, or the common cold. I didn’t watch “Signs” for nothing.

  15. “May be performed with just the scrotum and testicles, or with the scrotum tucked over the penis and then pulled tight. Sometimes accompanied by shouts of “alien brains” or simply “blaaaah.””

    …wtf…how would you even know this…what do you sit at home practicing???

  16. Hahaha…

    Urbandictionary.com told me all about it…

  17. sure it did…whatever you’ve gotta tell yourself to sleep at night (err…day for you)

  18. I tell myself a lot to help me sleep….This not being one of those things…Heh..

  19. …i’m not even gonna ask…knowing you whatever you tell yourself to sleep would keep us ‘normal’ people awake…. 😀

  20. Yeah…Probably a good idea…

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