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Old + Woman + Driving = Trouble…

Every story I ever read where there is a car crash the first thing that comes to my mind is…

” A woman must have been driving. “

Why do I think this? Because of stories like this. If you are a woman you should be lucky to be driving at all. Everyone knows that your skills are limited to:

  • Cooking
  • Cleaning
  • Breast feeding
  • Ironing clothes
  • Sweeping the floors
  • Complaining
  • Complaining
  • Talking on your phone
  • Talking about celebrities
  • Complaining
  • Looking good in bikinis

As you can see no where on that list is there driving. Why do you think they made buses and taxi cabs? So women wouldn’t drive duh! But obviously women missed the memo on that one.

Just kidding ladies. You know I love you. But seriously, don’t drive on the same roads I’m on.

I went and saw Henry Rollins do some spoken word last night. It was awesome. Even better than the first time. He went on stage at 730 and talked for 3 hours with out stopping once. It was even better than the first time I saw him 2 years ago.

———

Todays Word of the Day –

Gunt –

Bulging area found on large  women between the waist and the genital area. Not quite a gut, not quite a cunt… The Gunt.

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22 Responses

  1. Hahaaa… it was only a matter of time before a “women + driving = angry Steve rant” made it on here wasn’t it? Love the triple take on complaining, isn’t one of those meant to be nagging?

    Gotta go google Henry Rollins grrrr.. where’s my link damnit.

    Your word of the day words are making me laugh and cringe, I didn’t think you could top, top shelf or poo lagoon but there you have it..

  2. haha, Gunt…

  3. I’m not sure what’s worse. Woman Drivers, Asian Drivers or Drivers from New Jersey. I guess all three could be construed as women.

    I guess an Asian woman from New Jersey is pretty bad.

  4. GUNT…THAT IS GREAT!!!

    you know, you forgot a few key items in your list:

    MAKING LUNCHES
    BLOWJOBS
    LOOKING GOOD IN SHORT SKIRTS
    BUYING MAKEUP

    ok, i’m finished now.

  5. this does not please me…

  6. can you also add asians to this post? crap another commenter beat me to it! OHH and NJ drivers are not half as bad as drivers in boston and pretty much new england in general.

  7. Alright now, Steve….

    I’m a woman and I’ve never been in an accident.

    …and I don’t do breastfeeding.
    …and I can’t really cook that well…

    oh hell.

    lets target another group please, i vote for asians driving or asians trying to navigate customer service.

    LOL jk jk jk.

  8. In Texas we call a gunt a “FUPA” ( ;

  9. Steven, you forgot that girls are good at getting cum on their face.

  10. Girls are gross!

  11. I’ve gotta gunt…

  12. Nat – I was wondering where you’ve been!…I was going to send you a message on the ol’ Myspace today…There are plenty more rants where this one came from…heh..

    Jimmy – I’m here to entertain Jimmy…

    Brock – An old Asian woman from New Jersey could be worse…

    Amanda – Pfft…Don’t act like you hate me in front of all of these people…

    The Pessimest – I think there are just a lot of shitty drivers period….I just like to single out women…

    Alyssa – Well what kind of woman are you!?…lol…

    Allison – Yeah, we call them that here too…

    Robby – I figured that was implied…

    Ryan Seacrest – Man you’re so gay…

    T – Rex – That is a shame dude….Better start doing crunches…

  13. Oh my! its women bashing day…is it? thanks for the reminder so, I can circle my date book 4 next year…btw…looking at your list there..these r the only ones that apply to me..just sayin..;)

    Cooking-somebody has to we have to eat u know..
    Cleaning-ditto
    Looking good in bikinis-yeah, right! I wish…ha!
    Complaining-its useless-guys don’t listen anyways..(i’ve learned this over the years) call me wise! 😉

    I don’t do floors, hate talking on the phone, celebrities are overrated, and ironing and breast feeding..pfft!
    Get outta here..find me a woman who still does all that..and I will kiss ur big toe..(well, not really but, I bet u can’t though) LOL~ *muah Steve!~

  14. Hahaha….

    It’s ALWAYS woman bashing day in my blog…But it’s all in good fun since I bash EVERYONE…

  15. Joebec – Yeah I put the list together too fast…Next time I won’t forget to add those….lol

  16. You really are a strange old gunt, I drive in my bikini all the time, zero accidents, everyones happy.

  17. Hahaha…

    I’m not old!…

    I wouldn’t recomend that….It could cause accidents…

  18. Ha.. I’m just happy there’s a time travel blog up next.. don’t get me started (aka, no you’re not the only one that dwells on the possibility of time travel)!

    I didn’t realise you’d already used all the +,+,+=’s in your blog title, it makes my comment look less original and witty 😦

    🙂

  19. Hahaha….I posted the Doc picture just for you….

  20. So it wouldn’t surprise you that as soon as I opened the blog I right clicked and saved as?

  21. Haha…Not at all…

  22. I’m really good at sitting on old-men’s laps and caressing their giant old-man ears…is that on the list???

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