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A few things…

I’ve been uninspired the last few days when it comes to writing blogs, and am still feeling it. Hopefully this funk turns it’s self around. I have been reading the news and noticed a few things though.

Not all of Hollywood is a bunch of selfish assholes. David Spade donated $25,000 to slain police officer’s family.

They found all of those stupid skydivers that were in the crashed plane. I read the story and the first thing that came to my mind was…Why didn’t they jump out of the plane? They all had parachutes. What a bunch of idiots.

 Little kids are still dumb. A 4 year old fell into the Grand Canyon and died (obviously). Shouldn’t the parents be at fault for this? How hard is it to watch a kid? And don’t you teach your kids not to jump off of giant cliffs?

An Alabama minister who died of “accidental mechanical asphixiation” was found with two wet suits on, five belts, a full scuba mask, diving gloves, flippers, and a dildo. Sounds like this dude was ready for a good time….Or as much as a minister could have.

I’m also going to start posting a “word of the day.” I will be hitting random on Urban Dictionary until I find a word I deem worthy of word of the day status and I will post it at the end of my blogs.

Top Shelf – When one takes a crap in the water tank of a toilet. This is usually done as a party prank or as a method of smiting one’s enemies. It’s a real pain to clean out, stinks like hell, and makes the toilet flush brown for days.

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18 Responses

  1. I always love the way you bring the news. LOL~You outta have your own show, u know it? Adding all that positive vibe to it all, MAkes the news worth hearing, in that funny sort of way….Somehow, it all doesn’t seem so glum when you tell it…haha!

    have a good one,Steve! 😉

  2. Oh my goodness!! That Top Shelf thing is NASTY! I never even thought of that being a possibility!

    Man oh man — you might want to take that down so your buddies dont get any ideas. 😉

    -A

  3. TWO wet suits? why would he possibly put on TWO wet suits??

  4. brings a whole new meaning Top Shelf Liquor…

  5. You could not be a bigger fucking idiot.

    Nice comments about the skydivers, fuck head.
    i hope some day you die an acciental death and people spit on your grave in the same way.

    go fuck yourself!

  6. CG – Well I did have my own show…Just got lazy and stopped doing it…

    Alyssa – I actully know a guy who did that….He still tells the story…..Heh..

    Melsa – He wanted to be REALLY dry?…

    Amanda – I’m not touching that one…

    Eric – Thanks for your support Eric!…I hope that people point out the obvious when I die too…Have a GREAT day!

  7. lmao @ Eric’s comment…

    I cant really tell if he has sand in his vagina or if his period is as painful as mine…Midol buddy, that is where it is at.

    Anywho, I was out raping some more prostitutes and I figured why not stop by Steve’s blog and find out what is good in the world. you always have a way of showing me life isn’t always as bad as I in vision it.

    With that said…

    David Spade has done alot over the years, in the donation category to help great causes, I think very highly of him for this, because he does his best to stay out of the media. You know it is for a good reason when the person donating the money doesn’t want the media attention. I heard something about the cop that was killed but I cant find the story anywhere. apparently I am still a-sleep.

    About the skydivers, if you are traveling in a plane that is below 100-500 feet from the ground, no matter how soon you jump out, your shute wont open, fully, and you will be pumled into the ground like a dirty whore who just got hit in the mouth with a roll of quarters for holding onto her “earnings”, they really didn’t have a chance to jump. From what I read…they wasn’t going to jump in a densely forested area. Chances of recovery is lacking if best, and the possibility of injury is high. Death can also incur. Stay on the plane till you get out of said death trap, and you might be able to make it out alive. However it wasn’t the case.

    As for the child who fell into the grand canyon and died…Shit you kidding me he is going to have an amazing story to tell his friends when he gets back home and back to school. Oh wait…

    The minister wasn’t going to have a fun time, that is how we have communion, isn’t this the way we all do it?, in the bible it said Jesus is our lord and savior, as such we must take off the withholds of our life (belts) peel the sin stained flesh from our bodies (wet suit #1) and then in an finial attempt to become pure, strip ourselves of all things material in order to become one with god…(the rest of the items) Finally take the dildo and shove it into the person next to you, (for shits and giggles, or moans…whatever pleases you)

  8. Why aren’t there parachutes on commercial flights? Is that too difficult? Put them under the seats or something.

  9. Isn’t there some kind of barrier between people visiting the Grand Canyon and the Canyon itself? That kid should be commended posthumously for his top-quality stealth.

  10. Take the advice from someone who has had like 88 blogs. Don’t force it. Only do it when you want, and only post about what you want. Otherwise, you’ll just get bored.

  11. King-Steve — I worry about the people you hang out with. lol

    oh yeah and who the fuck isnt watching their 4 year old in GRAND CANYON.

    Hello?! Fall off = Death?????

  12. I’m totally with you on the skydivers deal – aren’t they like the best position to be in a plane crash situation?? I mean, put your friggin parachute thing on and jump out. WTF??

  13. Big Guy – Jesus man…You sure do type a lot…I think your comment is longer than my blog…

    Brock – I’m sure it’s because people like me would have no idea how to use that shit…

    DT – I always thought there was…But I’ve never been there so I have no idea…

    T-Rex – I’ve posted over 100 blogs on here over 250 on Myspace….I just go through these spurts of nothingness every once in a while…Thanks for the ideas..

    Alyssa – You and me both…Heh…That’s what I’m sayin…If you let your kid run off the edge of the Grand Canyon, you don’t deserve kids…

    Abarclay – So you are taking the opposite stance that Eric is taking?…Heh…You would think at least one of them would have been safe….

  14. hey some kiddo died near my place falling from a mall recently… got a lot of brickbats for the way i portrayed the whole thing….

    arbitblogs.wordpress.com/2007/07/02/garuda-mall-boy-dies/

  15. Falling from a mall?…How the hell do you do that?….

  16. Quite simple, actually! Follow these steps:
    1) Find a gaping hole in the railings from the fourth floor.
    2) Bend down in that gap.
    3) Then accidentally fall down!

    There you have it!

  17. Haha…

    I guess that would be the recipie…

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