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Why I don’t travel…

I’ve read a lot of blogs already today about 9-11. I thought about doing one, but changed my mind. Why talk about old depressing shit when there is plenty of new depressing shit to talk about.

I found this story just now and I almost shit myself. The Ebola virus is back! I saw that movie Outbreak, that shit will mess you up. They had to fire bomb whole villages. I’m glad I’ve never been to Africa. If I’m scared of anything it’s the Ebola virus. If you get it you bleed out of your eyes, ears and probably your ass. No thanks! I don’t need that. I’ll sit right here in my comfy suburban house surrounded by medicine and masks to protect me from various ailments.

But this could all be blown out of proportion. Remember SARS? That killed like what 3 people? That shit was weaker than a wet paper bag full of rocks. Remember the West Nile Virus? That shit is still “here” but is probably the weakest disease I’ve ever heard of. It’s no worse than having the flu, and only kills old people and little kids, and who can’t do that?

So maybe I’m freaking out for no reason. Or maybe there is a little monkey in a box being illegally transported to the US right now. I guess only time will tell….


7 Responses

  1. Ebola scares me more than Paris Hilton’s twat.

  2. That little monkey in the box has been named as one “Britney Spears”… now if she EVER starts to bleed out of the rear end – I’m doing a runner like OJ.

    So aspirins don’t really help then against the big E.?

    Need to stock up on the napalm i think..

  3. Are you kidding me? Ebola is the manliest way to die, ever. Period. You couldn’t even rival it with anything- not even headbutting the sidewalk. If I could pick the way I die, I would pick Ebola.

  4. Monkey in a Box. What about the Dick in a Box. I’d be VERY scared of that.

  5. Whatever DT, who gives a crap about dying in a manly way? How manly are you gonna seem when you’re curled up in a bed all alone with blood pouring out of your helpless ass?

    And to make matters worse, everyone will think that you got it from trying to molest a monkey in a box…yeah, THAT’S a good lasting memory for your loved ones: “yeah…so he’s bleeding out of his ass and dying and shit, ’cause he’s one of those weird-ass “monkey-fetish” people…”…nice.


    The only way I wanna go is in a “happy go lucky” way…I wanna die while trying to eat through a 20-layer chocolate cake…cake-suffocation…a damn good way to go 🙂

  6. Lady – I second that!

    Paul – Hahaha….And I think napalm is a good idea…

    DT – You’re crazy man…I plan on NOT dying EVER…I’m going to be turned into a robot…

    Brock – EVERY straight man is scared of “dick in a box.”

    Romi – Cake-suffocation sounds fun…Let me know when you find this cake…

  7. Ebola rocks. Only fucking pussies don’t what that fucking disease. I’ll fucking bet that soon all the coolest stars will go and try to get it so they can have fucking bragging rights over all their shitty fucking celbrity friends. At least I hope so.

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