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There has to be a logical excuse…Right?

After reading this story I don’t know what to think. I don’t know if I should laugh or be angry. The story, if you’re to lazy to click the link and read a story that is only 2 paragraphs, is about a guy who breaks into a funeral home while the owner is across the street. While across the street the owner notices a basement light on and goes down to investigate. This is where the story takes a turn to the weird. Roderick Jones, the dude who broke into the funeral home, is found hiding behind a casket. That is only semi strange the really strange part is that the casket was open and the woman inside had her stockings removed and the plastic covering ripped. The sad part is that this isn’t the first time he’s been accused of this. It’s happened before in 1999.

I have come up with a few things that might explain this bizarre behavior.

  • Roderick Jones is actually a vampire and needed a coffin because termites destroyed his.
  • He is a mobster/drug trafficker and hid money/drugs inside of the corpse and the only way to get it out was through her vagina.
  • He was drunk, thought he was at his house, and was attempting to have sex with his ice queen wife.
  • His nickname is Buck and he’s “here to fuck” like the nurse in Kill Bill part 2.
  • He is REALLY ugly and the only chicks that will have sex with him are either dead or blind, and there were no blind chicks around.

If you can think of ANY logical reason that this dude was NEAR a dead chick, please share it with me….

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11 Responses

  1. He sees dead people.

  2. Really that is so sick! YUCK

  3. well good thing my lazy ass clicked the link because you left out the part where he was HOLDING HER LEG IN THE AIR!!!?? um, maybe he was seeing if dead women still grow leg hair? i’m gonna roll with that cuz it’s the least sickening.

  4. Dude, I hate to say it, but I’m pretty sure this dude likes to boink dead chicks, like blind ones are irrelevant, he just digs “dead”…ughhhh…

  5. Brock – I’m sure that’s not all he sees…

    Sara – You said it…

    Joebec – I like your theory…Heh..

    Romi – WHAT!?…You mean this dude is a sicko?…

  6. Yeah, I think out of all the comments I’ve made on your blog, that was the most ground-breaking one 😉

  7. Oh it definitely was…Haha..

  8. Can you all stop the fucking puns? This is serious fucking shit. Some asshole tried to fuck me once when I was dead and it wasn’t fucking cool.

  9. oh, that was me. sorry a-hole…it’s not nice to call a girl and asshole though. i should be called “sick fucking bitch” for sake of that story. hey, it happens.

  10. A-hole: I’m sorry you died once, but I’m glad you’re back in play.

  11. Yeah, I’m pretty glad about it too. It fucking sucked.

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