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Kicked out again…But in a different place…

Last night I had tickets to a baseball game. So three of my friends and I all went to the game, got semi-drunk and watched the Twins win in 10 boring innings.

After the game we (mostly I) decided it was a good idea to drink MORE at the bar. We get into the bar (after paying $3) and start to drink, and drink, and drink. After 2 or 3 beers I notice a waitress with some HUGE guns. By the time she came over and offered my friend and I jello shots I was completly in the bag. So after chatting her up I ask the question that is on every guy in my position’s mind.

“Are your boobs real?”

With out missing a beat she says they are and I attempt unsuccessfully to get her to show them to me.

So after not seeing any boobs I decided to drink MORE beer. After a few more beers the table next to use bought my buddy and I a Jagermeister and Red Bull shot. As soon as the Jager was in my stomach it wanted out and there was no way I was holding it down. So I went to the bathroom and yacked up that shot plus tons of beer.

I go back out to our table and I tell my friend that I puked and he laughed. Just then a bouncer taps me on the shoulder and tells me that I have to leave. I ask why and he tells me they have a rule….”If you puke, you have to leave.” I understood and told them that was cool. I got my friends and we went next door to a different bar and started drinking some more.

It was a great time and I got to enjoy a drunken walk home to my friend’s appartment and then passed out on the floor.

On another note…I am in a few different fantasy football leagues and need an OFFENSIVE name. Something that people won’t want to say because it’s so bad. The name of my team right now is The Shockers and will probably stay that way unless you guys have something better.

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15 Responses

  1. my boobies are real and since I am hammered I will email you a pic of them!!!!

  2. OoOooHHHHhhH… 😉

  3. do those knockers trigger your memory?

  4. They definitely do…I remember them like I just saw them yesterday…Or the day before…

  5. Awwwwwe like you just licked them Thursday…..

  6. Just like that…

  7. Ron Mexico’s Dog Rape Stand

  8. Haha…I actually had my name as the Michael Vick All-Stars…I thought it was funny…But I wasn’t sure…

  9. Thats to funny. I got nothing for ya except for a name used in that south park movie. Donkey Rapeing Shit Eater

  10. I don’t think I’m using that one…Heh..

  11. So dude, people ask me that boob-question all the time, but it’s a slightly modified version, i.e.: “Have you ever thought about getting a boob job?” Wicked.

  12. Haha…

    And your answer is?…

  13. Every fucking day, but so far I only have enough to pay for one jug…

  14. That’s rough…Maybe you could just get some hand me down fake boobs….

  15. Hand-me-down fake-boobs eh? Well…desperate times call for desperate measures…as long as they’re still all bouncy and stuff; ’cause if they’re gonna be all half-inflated and shit like a beaten-down basketball, then FORGET THAT!

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