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Drinking, drinking, assaultive strippers, and more drinking…

My birthday last year was a fun time, or at least the parts I can remember were. It started at my normal drinking establishment, Jimmy’s. I was with a few friends of mine. We started off like we always do, with a couple 4 pitchers of MGD. I tell them that tonight I’m going to take it easy and just drink beer, after they got done laughing they got our waitress over and told her it was my birthday and she brought me some shot. After taking that fruity shot and finishing our pitchers of beer we thought it would be best to go to a different bar down the street…

The Stadium is the next bar we hit. We ordered a few more pitchers of beer and then my friends told this waitress that it was my birthday and she said “any shot you want you got it.” Well my friends decided that a Cement Mixer would be a good mix with all the beer. (I actually liked it) So we finished our beer and some food that we ordered.

We then went to a friend of mine’s bar. It was the last day he owned it and he was throwing a big bash. When we got there it was Bad News Bears. (in a good way) We all got shit faced. A couple girls I know met us up there and they got drunk as well. So after taking tons of shots and drinking ourselves stupid one of the girls, yes one of the girls thought it would be fun to go to some shitty ass strip club that is in the area….

It just so happens that one of my good friends (Matt) knows the owner and the bartenders at this strip club so we were HOOKED UP on drinks. So I we were all sitting at our table and Matt was talking to some stripper that he knows. I was chatting up the waitress.

When I get super drunk I tell people to hit me in the face. I’m not sure why, but I do. Well I was talking to the stripper that Matt was talking to and I told her to hit me in the face. After asking me if I was serious she complied and punched me super fucking hard right in the jaw. So hard in fact that I “tasted sand.” Immediately after she punched me I asked her if I had to pay for that and she responded with a slap to the face. The waitress that I was talking to asked what was going on and I gave her the scoop, after she laughed she wanted to slap my other cheek “to make it even.” So being the drunk idiot I am I let her slap me.

So a little while later we left and I thought it would be a good idea to pick up one of the chicks we were with and throw her over my shoulder and run around….Well it turns out it wasn’t a good idea at all since I picked her up and fell in a big ass puddle of water. Oh well though. I had a great time and I hope this year’s birthday is just as memorable.


6 Responses

  1. Yay, beer, shots and strip clubs.. where was I last year? Relocate your birthday to Aus!!

    Never had a cement mixer, I guess I’ll have to google it.. unless you can actually remember what was in it? I never can..

    Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!! This means I’ll have to log onto myspace and get the little reminder to find out when your Bday actually is. 🙂

  2. WOO!!…Yeah, I would but I’m broke and I don’t have a passport…

    A cement mixer is apple puckers and some kaluah type drink and you mix them in your mouth and they curdle, it’s like cement…I thought it was pretty good…

    It’s July 31st…

  3. haha…
    That is all…

  4. Steve,

    From what I know of you, I think we’d be chums in person. However if you asked me to hit you in the face it would be awesome and I’d happily give you my best shot.

  5. What are you doing for your birthday this year? Hit Timmy and I up, we’ll party with ya:)

  6. Jimmy – That is what I do everytime I think about it…

    Brock – If I ever ask anyone to punch me in the face and they do it I don’t get mad at them….Heh…I haven’t been that drunk in a while though…

    Sarah – For sure…I’ll let you guys know…

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