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A bad weekend for campers….

It was a bad weekend for campers. This weekend 2 campers will killed. The first was a 9 year old boy scout who was crushed after a 13 foot tall totem pole fell on top of him. ( story) The second, an 11 year old boy was taken by a bear and mauled to death. ( story ) It is unclear at this time if the bear was a pedophile or has a criminal record.

I have some theories as to why both of these things happened.

  • One word, terrorists. There hasn’t been a major terrorist attack on American soil since 9 – 11. This obviously set up by Al – Quaida. They trained wild animals and inanimate objects to hurt American citizens.
  • Global warming. Al Gore was right, global warming is having a huge effect on our way of life and I know for a fact that things will change now.
  • Hippies. As “normal” people encroach on hippie land the have become more and more hostile. Soon, there will be an all out war in the USA. I for will enlist if I can kill a few hippies.
  • Leprechauns. By coincidence both of these camp sites are located at the end of rainbows. And as we all know leprechauns are some greedy little bastards that will do anything to keep their pots of gold. Plus it is common knowledge that leprechauns keep bears as pets/gaurd animals.

These are just a few of the theories I have. Do you think there are other possibilities?

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26 Responses

  1. Bears are godless killing machines and must be stopped. They are organized!!

  2. ….you’re scaring me….

  3. I will SO be right with you in enlisting if we’re killing hippies.

  4. Stephen Colbert says they are plotting to kill our young.
    Guess they did……………..

  5. NJB – Lets go on the offensive before those weed smoking, peace loving S O Bs get organized!!..

  6. Claudia – Yeah….They blocked the Wikipedia site on bears because people were changing it…heh…

    Damn bears!!…THEY NEED TO GO!!…Even those Chicago ones…

  7. Noooooooooooooo. Not My Chicago Bears!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Yeah….Fuck those jerks!….

  9. You know, we have gone and psst off mother nature now, so that she and her fury and our animals are reaking havoc and mayheim on our people’s.. that’s what we get for using up so much useless paper on bills and fake publisher clearinghouse letters and for trying to lock up our bears in zoos…. Nothing and nowhere is safe anymore. 🙂 HA!

  10. Yeah, we are definitely screwed….That mother nature is one mean lady…

  11. You must be conservative. The liberals would have blamed George Bush. Anyways, serves the camp right for building over a sacred indian burial ground. And I’ll bet you anything that the 11-yr old took some Purina Bear Food to bed with him, like Peanut Butter, Jelly and Crackers and, not so surprisingly, became bear food himself.

    Sam

  12. Thanks for stopping by Sam….

    I was going to blame George Bush too…But he has his hands full with that war so I’m almost positive he couldn’t be behind it…Unless the war is actually a cover for his child killing ways….I guess we will never know….

    Yeah, those damn kids always eating in bed…..

  13. I read your little theories, and I have to say, CONGRATULATIONS! You have finally reached your goal of drinking yourself retarded. Nice!

  14. Haha….

    I did drink a lot last weekend….

  15. lmfao Leprechauns eh? (heh… I’m Canadian leave my Canadia talking alone… )

  16. It could be a plot from the Canadian government to make the USA as crappy as Canada….

  17. lol Yes that is possible….

  18. That is probably what it is….

    It wasn’t really a bear, it was just a mounty dressed up like one…..And a mounty pushed that totum pole over onto that kid….

    Man, you Canadians are mean….

  19. Why is it with you and disliking hippies so much? Steve hates hippies hahaha

  20. Blame Canada!

  21. I used to love camp. It’s where you learn about boobies.

  22. Yea we’re evil… I love being Canadian hehe

  23. Kacie – I’m not sure….But I just don’t like them…Heh…

  24. Jim – You know it brother….

  25. Brock – Or get touched by the old creepy male counslers…..

  26. Corki – Haha….Nothing wrong with being evil….

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